


Theo

by LoathsomeSinner



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Breath Control, Death Threats, Eating Cum, Emotional Manipulation, Forced Nudity, Forced Self-harm, Forced homosexuality, Guns, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Kidnapping, Leashes, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Bondage, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Threats, Urination, Verbal Abuse, Violence, Voyeurism, denial of affection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2019-09-14 13:00:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16913304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoathsomeSinner/pseuds/LoathsomeSinner
Summary: Theo gets kidnapped and groomed to be a good little sex slave.





	1. Chapter 1

Theo sighed as he stepped out of the building, casting an annoyed glance up at the sky. It had been perfectly clear on his way into work, and he hadn’t thought to bring an umbrella. Now it was raining heavily, and the idea of having to walk home in the downpour only served to further sour his already bad mood. The customers had been even more annoying than usual, and now he was going to get soaked.

He lifted his hood over his head, knowing it would do little to keep him dry in the long run. He slipped headphones into his ears, then began to walk, shoulders hunched, doing his best to ignore the rain and his exhaustion as he went. Usually the quiet and solitude of the night helped to relax him after his shifts, but that night he found himself on edge. He ignored the feeling, putting it down to the rain, and just kept walking, paying more attention to his thoughts than his surroundings.

He didn’t notice when a man slipped out of an alleyway behind him, nor did he hear the footsteps closing in on him. It was only as he was approaching a large, black van parked at the curb that something, whether it was a sound, shadow or just intuition, finally alerted him to the danger. He spun around, eyes widening as he saw the figure behind him, already within arm’s reach. He opened his mouth to yell, only to be cut off as a cloth was pressed against his face.

A strong smell entered his nose and he stopped breathing reflexively, trying to struggle away from his attacker. A strong arm quickly wrapped around his torso, pinning one of his arms. The other remained free, but seemed to have no effect as he attempted to pull the hand holding the cloth to his face away. The struggling used up his oxygen quickly, and soon his lungs were burning. It wasn’t long before his body overrode his mind, and he began to gasp in tainted air, filling his lungs with the chemical. After a few deep breaths, his vision started to blur, and he tried in vain to regain control of his lungs, but they continued to work, pumping the chemicals through his system until his body went limp.

The cloth was held to his face for a few moments longer, the strong arms supporting his limp form, before it was finally pulled away. Theo realized dimly that the chemical-covered cloth hadn’t knocked him out as he’d expected it to, but he was still powerless as his limp form was moved towards the van. He could only barely move, weakly trying to push the man away, but his actions made no impact on the man.

A rush of adrenaline pulsed through him as the van door was opened, revealing a bundle of rope. It was becoming increasingly obvious that this wasn’t just some random mugging, and the increased fear was starting to clear his system. He gave a small whimper as he was dumped into the van roughly, bruising his shoulder. He tried to kick out at the man as he moved to enter, but his leg only jerked weakly, not even connecting with his target.

Only now that they were in closer quarters did Theo get a good enough look to see that the man was wearing a mask and dark goggles, concealing his face. He could make out a pattern on the mask, reminiscent of a skull with fangs, and he gave a low moan of fear as the man closed the door behind him and moved in closer.

The masked man reached for a pile of objects near the rope, pulling out a cloth and a roll of duct tape. He reached for Theo, who was still powerless to fight back, and yanked open his mouth. The thankfully clean cloth was forced into his mouth, and a length of duct tape quickly made sure he wouldn’t be able to spit it back out. With his mouth blocked, he became acutely aware that he was crying, making his nose start to block. It was getting hard to breath, and his breaths came in rapid, panicked snuffles. His limbs were beginning to respond again, but his struggles remained ineffectual. The man was just too strong.

He was held in place as the man retrieved the rope, and could only flail his legs uselessly as he was rolled over. His hands were pulled behind his back and tied with disturbing efficiency. His legs were bound moments later, and before long the only movement he was capable of was a useless squirming.

He was rolled back over, and his breath caught a moment later. The man’s masked face was within inches of his own, and though he couldn’t see the man’s eyes through the tinted goggles, he knew the man was staring at him. A gloved hand came up to his face, and Theo flinched away from it, then shuddered in renewed horror as the hand gently stroked his face, wiping away some of the tears.

He could only watch as the man pulled another strip of cloth out of the pile and brought it up to his face. The blindfold went over his eyes, tied just as securely as everything else, and he listened as the man got back out of the car. He tried in vain to squirm towards the door before it was closed, but knew he hadn’t even gotten close. The man got into the front of the van and started the engine, providing Theo with another burst of adrenaline. He started screaming as the van began to move, but the sound came out muffled and part of him was aware no one would be able to hear him.

His panic took over, driving out any thought but escape, and he continued to scream and thrash as best he could, until his body finally succumbed to exhaustion. Despite being bound uncomfortably, and fighting it with everything he had, he slowly fell unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

When Theo awoke, the ache in his arms – still tied up beneath him – reminded him instantly of where he was and what had happened. His eyes were still covered, and he had no way of telling how long he’d been tied up. All he knew was that he’d been woken up by the sound of the van’s front door opening and closing. The engine was off, and Theo strained his ears for any signs of life, that there might be anyone outside the vehicle that might hear him in he started to struggle again. It was quiet, however, far too quiet for him to hope that they were anywhere near other people. 

His body began to tremble as he recalled the horror of his situation, but he was still far too drained to return to his earlier blind panic. All he could do was wait, and wonder just what it was the psycho that had kidnapped him was going to do.

The side door of the van opened, and Theo cringed away from it, trying in vain to shuffle towards the other side of the van. Strong hands gripped one of his legs, dragging him somewhat painfully back towards the man. Now that the door was open, he could make out some light from the bottom of his blindfold, telling him that it was day, but he had no hope that that meant anyone would be able to see him. Still, he whimpered as he was dragged, but he was confused as the man stopped before pulling him out of the van. 

Instead, the hands that had been gripping his leg moved to his hips, and a shudder of revulsion passed through him as the hands delicately stroked along his sides. He renewed his struggles, trying to pull away, but any time he got even a few inches away, he was tugged back. The hands explored his body, slipping up his shirt and touching in a way that was far too intimate. Muffled protests filled the air, but they were ignored completely. 

He tried to yell as one of the hands began to undo the button of his pants, then slowly pulled down the zip. His pants were tugged down, and his boxers quickly followed. Then for a few moments there was nothing, but he could almost feel the man’s eyes on him, staring at his exposed cock. The seconds ticked by, agonizingly, before he finally felt something touch. The man’s hand delicately wrapped around his cock, beginning to stroke.

Theo continued to protest and struggle, but the man’s free hand was now holding onto his hip, keeping him pinned firmly in place in stark contrast to the gentle caress on his cock. The hand seemed to know exactly what it was doing, his thumb occasionally stroking along the tip, and as much as Theo tried, he couldn’t stop his body from reacting.

The hand continued until Theo was completely hard, at which point he received another shock. Hot, wet lips pressed against the tip of his cock, then slowly wrapped around it. He groaned, face flushing deeply as his hips jerked reflexively, though the other hand kept him from moving. The man’s mouth continued to move, taking in an inch or so and beginning to bob. The wet tongue circled around the tip, drawing more unwanted pleasure from his body.

This went on for a few moments, before the mouth began to move downward again. Theo felt his cock press up against the back of the man’s throat, then an almost unbearable tightness as he went further. His struggles ceased for the moment, though he didn’t notice, he was too busy trying to push away the undeniable pleasure. None of his girlfriends had ever been this skilled, and he trembled deeply as the man’s lips reached the base of his cock. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold against this for long.

The man began to bob again, moving slowly, till his cock was almost free, then back all the way down again. He groaned deeply, and the man began to pick up his pace, drawing out the pleasure. His face was contorted with the effort of trying to resist, to keep his body from giving what he was sure the man wanted, but it was in vain. There was nothing he could do, he was going to-

Suddenly, just as he was reaching the point of no return, the man pulled away completely. Before Theo could stop himself, he whimpered, bucking his hips up towards the retreating lips, but it was too late, they were gone. As he came down from the edge, he realized what he had just done, and his face flushed in shame. Somehow, this was even worse than the man making him cum, because for just a few moments, he’d wanted the man to continue. Part of him, at least, still did.

As his mind whirled, trying to deal with what had just happened, a hand grabbed his head, yanking him closer to the side of the van. He gave a muffled yelp, trying only for a moment to pull away, but the grip on his hair was too strong. He could hear the man breathing heavily, giving low grunts, and another, softer noise made him realize what was happening just before something hot splashed across his face.

The man held his head in place as he released his load, all of it ending up on Theo’s face, though the gag and blindfold kept any of it getting in his eyes or mouth. He gave a single retch, but managed to keep his stomach settled, thinking he might choke if he let himself throw up. He heard the man laugh, the hand not at his head reaching down to rub lightly against his crotch, enough to stimulate, but still not take him over the edge. The man leaned down, and Theo felt a hot breath against his ear as, for the first time, he spoke.

“You want to cum, fuckboy?”

The voice was cold and mocking, and the hand at his hair released, allowing him to shake his head quickly. The man laughed, then shoved him, rolling him over so that he landed on his front. His arms were relieved of their ache, but he didn’t notice that, his mind and body were far more preoccupied with the sensation of his erect cock being squashed under his moving body. He gave a muffled howl of pain, not even noticing as the van door was closed again, nor when the vehicle began to move once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Eventually he was able to move in order to alleviate some of the pain, and he readjusted himself to lay as comfortably as he could, though his arms and cock were now throbbing with pain. The erection had faded almost immediately, but that was the only relief he had in this horrible situation. He could feel the man’s cum drying on his face, the small trickle of tears running down his cheeks doing little to wash it away. Even worse than the sensation was the smell, which was thick, and a constant reminder of the humiliation he had just faced.

And he had no doubt, now, that there was more to come. At first, he had been able to entertain hope that the man had only staged an ill-thought out kidnapping, hoping to get money out of… Someone. His boss, maybe? But it hadn’t made sense, no one Theo knew made enough money to make something like that worthwhile. His other theory was more horrifying, and one he still couldn’t quite rule out. That this man was going to kill him. And based on what had happened so far, he’d probably be fucking him while he did it.

But what could he do? The man was too well prepared, he’d obviously thought of everything, and he was far too strong to fight against. Theo had always been scrawny, but next to the man that had kidnapped him, he was practically a twig. Despair settled down on him as he realized there was nothing he could do but wait until they had reached their destination. As time passed, he once again found himself dozing off into a fitful, uneasy sleep.

* * *

What woke him next was his body. The aches from before had faded, replaced by different complaints as the other half of his body had been forced to lay on the hard, unyielding floor of the van. But more than that, he was hungry, thirsty, and most insistently, he needed to pee. He tried to ignore it, hoping that the man would stop driving again soon, and that he would be allowed to relieve himself. Surely the man didn’t want him pissing all over the place, and with how prepared the man had seemed so far he couldn’t believe that it hadn’t occurred to him. But as what felt like hours passed, though in reality it was far shorter, he began to realize that he wouldn’t be able to count on the man stopping in time.

Quietly at first, he tried to mumble out a plea. He didn’t really want to get the man’s attention, but he didn’t want to piss himself either. There was no response, so he raised his volume, and continued to do so until he was practically screaming once again. But it was no use. Either the man couldn’t hear him, or he just didn’t care. He felt like the latter was more likely. Hell, the man was probably taking some sick enjoyment out of it. Theo forced himself to go quiet before the strain of yelling made him give in to the terror again, and just focused on keeping his bladder in control, as well.

It wasn’t as if he cared about getting piss all over the man’s van, of course, but he’d suffered enough humiliation already. He could only imagine how much worse this ride would be if he had to lay in a pool of his own urine. He also had no idea how the man would react. Maybe he would find it amusing, seeing him degrade himself further, and the worst he would do would be to leave him to suffer. But the man also obviously had no qualms against hurting him, and if he got angry he had no idea what he would do. As bad as this situation was, as bad as he was sure it was going to get, he didn’t want to die.

But it wouldn’t be long before he didn’t have a choice. The pressure was building, and it was already almost painful to keep it in. It didn’t even serve as a distraction, just an insistent reminder of the situation he was in.

He almost cried when the van stopped, praying that the man would let him out, even for a few moments. Even if he had to pee from the edge of the van, so long as he could get to do it. He resumed his mumbled pleading as he heard the side door of the van open again. The man didn’t seem to care about what he was trying to say, but he couldn’t help but hope as he was pulled towards the door, he didn’t even try to pull away.

His heart raced as he felt the bindings on his feet being loosened. They weren’t pulled away completely, but it allowed enough movement for him to stand and, hopefully, walk a little. He wouldn’t be able to run, but he wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. He was allowed to swing his legs off the edge of the van, and he unsteadily rose to his feet, still unable to see anything around him. He tried to take a few hesitant steps away, but a hand at his arm stopped him, and he whimpered.

He continued to mumble, trying to explain that he wasn’t trying to run, that he just wanted to take a fucking _piss_ , but he was ignored, and a few moments later, it was too late. His words cut off as his bladder decided it had had enough. Heat rose in his cheeks as he felt warm liquid begin to run down his leg, soiling the pants and boxers that were still hanging loose around his legs. He tried to shrink into himself, but he could tell by the man’s silence and stillness that he was seeing every excruciating moment of this. His bladder refused to be stopped until it was empty, and as a final kick to his wounded pride, the man gave a short, hard laugh when it finally ended.


	4. Chapter 4

Disheartened, he found himself unable to fight as he knew he should, instead he found his feet moving against his will, following the man’s direction. He stumbled a few times, the ground was uneven and the blindfold kept him from being able to see where he was going, but the hand at his arm kept him from planting his face onto the ground. He wasn’t sure he cared, either way, at this point he just wanted to curl up on the ground and cry. 

He could hear water running nearby, and the sounds of birds, far more than he’d ever heard at his home in the city, but he wasn’t paying enough attention to that to put together where he was. Nor did he realize the sound of running water was getting louder as they approached. The man’s hand left his arm, and part of his brain was screaming at him to try and get away. But he knew it was useless. He could only move his legs a little, nowhere near what he needed to run, and with the blindfold on, even if he could move, he’d probably trip sooner or later. Besides, he had no idea where he was, only that it was many hours away from his home, days perhaps, his sense of time was skewed.  
He simply stood there, waiting for something else to happen, but he was taken completely by surprise when it did. With no warning, the man’s hands shoved him roughly, sending him tumbling forward and splashing into water. His nose filled with water, and he stopped breathing, trying to move to raise his head above the water. There was no hope, though, his arms and legs were useless, bound as they were. He was completely at the mercy of the man who had kidnapped him, and if the man wanted it that way, he was about to drown.

Strong arms gripped him, lifting him up out of the water. He struggled for breath, but his nose didn’t offer enough oxygen in his panicked gasps for air. Relief came a moment later when the tape was suddenly ripped from his face. It stung, but he hardly noticed it as he spat out the cloth and gasped in a few ragged but full breaths. When his body finally figured out it was no longer drowning, he found himself babbling, lost in panic.

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry I tried not to I really tried please don’t hurt me please don’t kill m-“

His litany was cut short as he found his head being dunked under the water again and held there for a few moments. His mouth filled with water, and he half breathed, half swallowed it, making him cough heavily when he was brought up for air again.

“Shut the fuck up.”

With a massive force of will, he forced himself to keep silent, though he couldn’t help his ragged, shallow breathing. Once the man was sure he would stay quiet, he pulled Theo upright so that he could stand in the water, and he was surprised to find it wasn’t all that deep, only coming up to his hips. The water was cold, and it added to his trembling until he was shaking uncontrollably, and he clamped his jaw shut to keep his teeth from chattering, afraid it would anger the man again.

“Stay still or this is going to hurt.”

Theo felt a jolt of fear, and in his panic almost led him to try and run, but he caught hold of himself before he could move, knowing he would suffer if he did. A moment later he was glad he had. Cold metal slipped underneath his shirt, and he heard a ripping noise as it tore through the fabric. Quick, precise cuts soon had the garment falling off of him, and his pants and boxers were next. Soon he was standing naked in the stream, aside from the ropes and his shoes.

The man moved in closer, and he could feel the heat of him, pressing against his side. A hand, the feel of it already becoming far too familiar, found his ass and squeezed.

“You got a nice tight little ass, boy.”

The voice was gruff and full of lust, and he whimpered, finally giving in to his urge to try and get away. Strong arms kept him in place, however, and in his fear, he broke his silence.

“Please, no. I want to go home. I swear I won’t tell! Just let me go!”

“I said shut the fuck up.”

The hand at his ass moved, wrapping instead around his cock. He began to protest, but the noise changed to a yelp of pain as it was given a quick, but unforgiving squeeze.

The man’s hand moved back to his ass, caressing it lightly, almost lovingly. He shuddered deeply, but bit back his protests, though he couldn’t keep his tears at bay. The man’s fingers slipped in between his cheeks, pressing against his hole and Theo gave a weak sob, tensing in response to what he was sure was about to happen. The fingers paused, however, and the man seemed to reconsider, pulling his hand away entirely. 

Theo breathed a small sigh of relief, though he knew that it was only putting off the inevitable. He was led, awkwardly, out of the stream, back onto firmer ground. Again, he stumbled as he walked, and nearly tripped as he was led through a doorway. The man left him standing for a few moments, and he was surprised when he felt a towel being wrapped around his body, warming him some and lessening, though not quite fully stopping his shaking. He was led a few more feet, then directed to sit on a bed.

He sat quietly as the man removed his shoes and socks, weariness starting to take over him again. Now that he was completely naked, the man began to dry him, doing so slowly, tenderly, even wiping away his tears, though new ones came quickly to take their place. Once he was dry, he was moved up onto the bed, his feet released from their ropes, only to be attached instead to shackles, which in turn were secured to the bed itself. His arms were next, but they had been tied in such an uncomfortable position for so long that he could barely move them, trying to do so only adding to the ache. In the end, he could do nothing to prevent it as his arms were shackled as well, though he found there was enough length in the chains to allow him some small movement.

He could hear the man bustling about, getting changed, perhaps even getting food and water, but he was too weary, and too afraid, to ask for any for himself. Soon enough, there was the distinctive crackling of a fire, and the heat it provided settled the last of his shaking. His body could stand no more for the day, and finally resting on a comfortable surface, he fell into a deep, unknowing sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Upon waking the first thing that Theo noticed was that he could see again. His eyes darted around the small cabin, taking in everything he could. The man was nowhere to be seen, but it was small comfort, given that he couldn’t move. He could shift his arms slightly, but not far enough to reach the other. Even if he could have reached, there was no way he would be able to pull off the shackles holding him with his bare hands. Still, after however long he’d been tied up in the van, it was a relief to have some movement, even if his muscles did cry out in protest with every little movement he made.

The cabin had the feel of a place that had been lived in for a while, and he could see that these restraints had been there for a while too. Was this not the first time the man had done something like this? And if so, where were the others? Had they escaped? It seemed unlikely, if there were any survivors they would have gone to the police, this place would have been found, and he wouldn’t be in this mess. No. It was far more likely that if there _were_ others, they were now dead. He could see outside the window, the trees told him he was in a forest, far away from people. The others were probably buried out there.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door to the cabin opened, and the man entered. He was wearing the mask again, and terror filled him at the sight. He tried to back away, but the restraints would only let him get so far. He huddled up as best he could, pressed back in a sitting position against the headboard, but the man practically ignored him. Instead, he went to the small kitchenette, starting to cook something. The smell of bacon wafted through the cabin, and Theo’s stomach growled. He hadn’t realized just how long it had been since he’d eaten. He’d been hungry even before the abduction took place.

He didn’t know if he was allowed to speak just yet, so he kept himself silent, not wanting to do anything that might risk the man denying him food. Instead he just watched, his eyes locked on to the man’s every move. It seemed to take forever before the man finally came over to him, plate of food in hand. He sat beside the bed, taking note of Theo’s fervent stare.

“You want some of this?”

He barely finished the question before Theo was nodding, though he still kept quiet.

“Then close your eyes and keep them closed till I say you can open them again, got it?”

Theo hesitated for just a moment, but nodded reluctantly, closing his eyes. He didn’t understand why, if the man wanted him not to see, he didn’t just blindfold him again, but he wasn’t about to argue the point. His stomach growled loudly as the smell of the food came closer, and he opened his mouth on reflex. He was rewarded with a mouthful, and barely even chewed before swallowing, his body taking over in its drive to satisfy its needs.

He took mouthful after mouthful, but the man was slow, torturously so. Each mouthful was given after a delay, and it was hard to fight the temptation to complain, or look to see what was taking him so long. He didn’t know that his stomach might not be able to handle the food if he was allowed to eat as quickly as he wanted, and how would he? He’d never been this hungry before. When he was done with each mouthful, he left his mouth hanging open in anticipation for the next bite, but kept himself from showing any other signs of his impatience.

But because his mouth was left wide open, and his eyes were firmly closed, it was all too easy for the man to put something else in there. He jerked back when he realized that what was entering his mouth was not food but hard rubber, and his eyes shot open in surprise, but it was far too late. The ring came in between his teeth, forcing his mouth to stay open, leaving plenty of room on the inside for other things to enter.

He cried out in protest as the man swiftly moved onto the bed, straddling him with his hips just at the right height. Theo tried to turn his head aside as the man began undoing his pants, but the free hand curled into his hair, turning him back. He gave a low moan, watching in horror and disgust as the man’s cock sprang out of his boxers, already hard. It seemed massive, bigger than his own, though anything would have been too large in this situation. He tried even harder to pull his head away, but now both hands were on him, keeping him steady.

The warm flesh entered his mouth slowly, brushing against his tongue, and coming to rest at the back of his throat. His stomach churned and heaved, and for a moment he thought he was going to lose his breakfast, but the man pulled back, and he managed to keep it down. The man began to pump in and out of his mouth, taking it slowly at first. Eventually, his throat began to adapt to the intrusions, and the man was able to push further back. 

“Suck me off and this will be over a lot quicker, whore.”

Theo groaned, once again trying to pull back, but his head was held firmly in place. The man’s thrusts, that had begun to pick up, slowed down in response, and Theo began to understand that this would be drawn out until he complied. He still couldn’t bring himself to do it, but when he stopped struggling, he was rewarded, if you could call it that, by the man speeding up again.

This went on for a few minutes, which seemed to draw on for eternity, and he wondered just how long the man would last like this. His breathing hardly even seemed effected, if anything it seemed like he was in perfect control. Theo felt himself tearing up, again, but for once tried to fight it. If he cried now, it would get harder to breath, and he didn’t think the man was going to stop just because of that.

Finally, tentatively, he tried to suck at the invading organ, and the man gave a soft groan. He did it again, starting to time it with when the man was entering him, hoping it would be enough to get this over with.

“That’s a good little whore… Now use your tongue… Mm… Yeah… Just like that.”

The comments almost made Theo pause again, and he could feel his face burning with shame, but he pushed forward, hoping he was close. He tried to remember some of the things that girls had done with him, what had felt the best, and knew his attempts were working as the man softly groaned his pleasure.

It took him by surprise when the man suddenly tensed, pulling partway out of his mouth to make room for the load of cum. The taste was salty and bitter, and he sputtered as it flooded his mouth, retching a moment later. His stomach stayed where it was, but so did most of the cum, the man’s cock was still in the way, keeping it in place.

“Swallow it.”

Theo tried to shake his head, there was no way he could do it. But he wasn’t going to be allowed to move until he did. He stayed like that for a few moments, eyes pleading with the man not to make him do it. All he got in response was the man moving one of his hands, reaching for his nose and pinching it closed.

“Swallow.”

Theo couldn’t get enough air through his mouth, and now with his nose blocked off as well he was helpless to disobey. He clenched his eyes shut, and with great effort, managed to swallow the bulk of the load. He felt it as it went down, sticky and warm, and nausea swept over him. 

The masked man let go of his nose, then pulled his softening dick out of Theo’s mouth, loosening and removing the gag as he did so. Reflexively, he spat out the remains, but the taste wouldn’t leave his mouth. He almost wished he would throw up, but his body was far too attached to the food to give it up just for this. When he recovered, he shot a glare up at the man, but he couldn’t see his reaction. 

“Fuck you…”

He spoke weakly, but with all the venom he could muster. For the moment he didn’t care about punishment, only about what he had just suffered. 

The repercussions were immediate, a strong hand cuffing the side of the head. The blow was strong enough to send him reeling, and he looked up at the man through dazed eyes. His heart raced as he saw the man pull a knife from his belt, but he was just as unable to move as ever, and he could only squirm as he felt the sharp blade pressing against his throat.

“Care to repeat that?”

The man’s voice was like ice, and Theo didn’t doubt for a second that he would do it, that he would slit his throat and let him bleed out like this…

“N-no…”

The blade pressed further, and he felt it bite into his skin, a warm tickle dripping down his throat.

“Good. Now repeat after me, little whore, or we’ll end this right here. ‘Thank you for the cum, sir.’”

Theo felt a sudden flush on his cheeks, a mixture of humiliation and anger, but it wasn’t enough to beat out his fear.

“Th… Thank yo-“

“Louder.”

Theo gave a soft whimper, tears dripping down his cheeks as he raised his voice.

“Thank you for the cum, sir.”


	6. Chapter 6

Distracted by what had just happened, Theo didn’t fully realize how thirsty he was until the man approached with a glass of water. Immediately, he felt that there would be a catch, something that the man would make him do or do to him. But his body wouldn’t be denied, and his mouth opened as the cup was offered, drinking in a few short unsatisfying gulps before it was pulled away.

It was the same as when he had been fed, only being allowed small amounts, so that the process seemed torturously slow. If he could have moved his hands, he would have tried to grab the cup, but as it was he could only sit and wait for the next gulp. But at least this time he had his eyes open, and as time went on he was beginning to think that maybe the man was doing this with no strings.

He even relaxed, a little, when the man stood and placed the cup down in the small sink. He was weary, his body demanding rest now that the more insistent needs had been met. And although he knew he shouldn’t let his guard down around the man, he found his eyes slipping closed. They opened sluggishly when he felt a sudden weight on the bed, telling him the man had sat again, and he was instantly uncomfortable when he saw the man watching him, quietly but intensely.

“Do you want to sleep, Theo?”

A chill ran down his spine at the sound of his name. Feeling the cobwebs of his exhaustion blow away. If he knew his name then this couldn’t just be some random kidnapping, and he wasn’t sure which was worse. Did it even matter, really, whether or not the man had been watching him? It didn’t tell him what the man planned to do with him, other than what he’d already made obvious. He wasn’t being kept, that much was for sure, not forever.

He nodded, not speaking, and tried to keep the new thrill of fear out of his face. He didn’t think it was working, but he tried anyway. He didn’t want to think about what was going to happen to him, didn’t want to think about what horrible things were behind those dark, piercing eyes. Didn’t want to think about how they were _smiling_ at him. 

“Well you can. Soon.”

Theo didn’t have time to ask what he meant by ‘soon,’ he was already moving. Theo flinched as he saw the hand moving towards him, but it did nothing to make the man pause. It wasn’t pain coming, as he’d first thought, but he couldn’t say he was any happier about what did come. The man’s hand wrapped firmly around his cock, and he shuddered deeply as the hand began to move.

The movements were slow and teasing, and his traitorous body reacted just as it had the last time. He could see, _feel_ himself hardening under that touch. 

“Please…” He whimpered softly, tugging lightly on the cuffs that held him on the bed. He didn’t think he could get away, of course, but he still wanted to.

“Please what?” The man sounded mildly curious, as if they were having a normal conversation and he was simply asking for clarification, and Theo flushed softly, knowing he would have to say it.

“Please don’t _touch_ me.”

He could see an even bigger smile in the man’s eyes, even though the mask still hid his face.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?”

Theo felt an even bigger blush rise to his cheeks at that question, and though he wanted to deny it, he found himself simply not responding to the question. It _did_ feel good, and that made it all the worse. If it hurt, or it was even just _uncomfortable_ , then there wouldn’t be some stupid, ridiculous part of his mind that wanted it to keep going.

“That’s what I thought.”

His breath caught in his chest as he watched the man’s free hand lift up to the mask. He curled a finger around it and pulled it down, revealing a face that, and Theo hated to admit it, was extremely attractive. He had strong features, and the stubble on his cheeks suggested he hadn’t shaved since this had all started. The smile on his features was full of mischief, but not malevolence as Theo had expected. He seemed like a perfectly sane, even _nice_ man. 

And a moment later Theo realized why he had taken off the mask. He tried to stop himself, but couldn’t keep a small noise from escaping him when the man’s hot mouth enclosed around him. He didn’t think to close his eyes, and he was soon sickeningly enraptured by the sight of his cock disappearing into the man’s mouth.

He was watching as he worked, with a stare so intense that Theo felt it somewhere deep inside him. He shuddered again, but still couldn’t look away, he was caught by those dark eyes, watching as they moved slowly down, then back up. The process repeated itself, slowly building pace, and he felt every movement, every twitch of the tongue and lips. It didn’t take long before he was fighting with himself to stay still, to not meet him with thrusts of his hips. But he knew that was what the man wanted. He was searching for some sign of acceptance, of submission, trying to provoke him into taking part in it.

But he wouldn’t, he couldn’t let the man win, even though he was scared that if he didn’t, he would get hurt again. It was bad enough that he was doing this to him, making him a _part_ of it was just added insult. And if he was going to die anyway, wasn’t it better to at least try to have a little dignity at the end?

That thought finally allowed him to close his eyes, gritting his teeth against the onslaught of pleasure. It was both a relief and somehow worse at the same time. He couldn’t see it any more, that much was true, but with his eyes closed there was nothing to think about but the way it felt.

He squirmed again, and felt his cheeks burning as he made another sound, a soft whimper of mingled disgust and pleasure. He twitched as he felt the man place a hand on his hip, running his thumb along his skin in a comforting gesture that was somehow more distracting than the pleasure. He trembled, knowing he couldn’t resist for much longer, and though he should have seen it coming, what happened next was still a shock.

The mouth pulled away again, disengaging completely just as he knew he was about to cum. A strange, strangled noise of frustration escaped him, but somehow this time he kept himself from bucking his hips again.

He was already shaking his head when the question came, but the man asked anyway, a hint of satisfaction in his tone.

“Do you want to cum, Theo?”

He could feel the man’s breath on him, and it would be so _easy_ to let him go back, to finish what he’d started. And it would feel good, oh so good. His voice promised it, promised that it would be worth letting go of his pride.

“No.”

He tensed as soon as the word was out of his mouth, preparing himself for the punishment he was sure was coming. The man shifted on the bed, moving closer to his face, and he turned himself away, cringing back from him as far as he could.

“Fine.” The word was whispered into his ear with surprising tenderness. “Have a nice nap.” There was irony in the tone, and Theo already knew why. He might not be punished with pain, but his throbbing erection told him that sleep wasn’t going to come easily, and he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of dreams he would be subjected to. 

He opened his eyes, and found that face staring down at him. A tear escaped down his cheek, and he closed his eyes once again as he felt a tender finger wipe it away.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a while before he finally managed to sleep, the distraction of his erection and the knowledge that the man knew his name combined to push away his exhaustion for a while. But eventually his body won out, its demands for rest taking over him. But it was hardly a reprieve, his fitful dreams were filled with memories of what had happened over the past few days. The mask and those piercing, dark eyes featured prominently. Pain, fear and pleasure seemed to be present in equal amounts.

But eventually, even as the images got more disjointed, the pleasure began to get more intense. When he woke, the pleasure didn’t fade, instead he was finally able to realize where it was coming from, and what was probably happening. He was groggy, but it didn’t allow him even a brief moment of blissful ignorance. It was impossible to forget what had happened, even for a moment. Besides, he’d been single for months, there was no one else he could think that hand belonged to.

He struggled to open his eyes. It was still daylight, it couldn’t have been too long since he’d first fallen asleep. He groaned softly, hoping it would come out as annoyance, fear, discomfort. Anything but what was tantamount to an admission of enjoyment. But of course, his body and his fogged mind betrayed him, and his eyes flickered open just in time to see a smug grin of satisfaction on the man’s face.

He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and he closed his eyes again in shame. He kept both them and his mouth stubbornly shut, but he wasn’t able to keep himself from squirming as the man kept going. The strain and the fatigue were giving him a headache. How long had he been allowed to sleep? It wasn’t nearly enough. His body cried for more, but he knew it wouldn’t come until the man was done with him.

He already knew that the man was going to stop, but somehow that didn’t make it any less frustrating when it happened. He gave a short, strangled noise, but his fatigue helped to keep him from bucking his hips as he had the last two times. 

“Do you want to cum, Theo?”

That question. That damned question. Spoken with amusement and seemingly never ending patience. Only the memory of past punishments kept him from spitting curses at the man. Did he want to cum? Yes. No. _No_. 

He shook his head, still not opening his eyes. He was answered with another one of those mocking laughs.

“Well, you know how to end this, slut.”

He yelped as he felt the man flick the head of his cock. It wasn’t hard, but as sensitive as it was it was painful anyway. His cock throbbed for a while afterward, and he wasn’t sure when it changed from the pain of the flick to the throbbing insistence of his denied orgasms. Nor was he entirely sure when he fell asleep again.

The next few hours passed in an uncomfortable blur, somewhere between fitful sleep and uncomfortably aroused wakefulness. He was woken up the same way every time, and left in the same state. The man had stopped asking him the question, stopped speaking to him entirely, in fact. He simply waited a few moments as the silence stretched on, then moved away.

It was getting easier to fall back asleep, but it didn’t help in the slightest. It was far too short to give him any real rest. If anything, the short spates of sleep felt like they were only making it worse. The headache was constant now, a low and deep ache that matched the throbbing in his cock. Each time it was harder to hold his tongue, but it had become the only resistance he had left against the man.

He was only vaguely aware of the sun going down, the passage of time seeming more like a nightmare than anything else. Occasionally he caught glimpses of the man laying down beside him, heard beeping that couldn’t be anything other than an alarm. The significance of these observations slipped passed him, however, lost in the fog that was coming over him. There was nothing aside from the pleasure that was steadily turning towards pain.

And slowly but surely his will to resist was eroding. He hadn’t slept properly since this had happened, and he was quickly forgetting why he was being so stubborn in the first place. The intense sensation in his lower body as the man’s hand was working was something beyond pleasure now. He’d been denied too long, it was becoming a new kind of torture that wasn’t pain and wasn’t pleasure, it just was.

“Please…” He croaked the word out, his voice hoarse with the strain. “Please let me….” He paused for a moment, some part of him demanding he try one last time. “Sleep.”

The man tutted at him, pausing in his movements. “Not good enough, slut.” His hand began to pull away from him again, and he knew what that meant. He felt a sudden bolt of panic as he realized he would be subjected to more of this, he couldn’t deal with another short, unfulfilling rest.

“Please let me cum.”

He knew he was going to regret this later, but for the moment all he could think about was now. The man’s hand clasped around him again, moving with a firm, sure purpose.

“Well since you asked so nicely, you little whore.”

The words were whispered into his ear, far too intimately, and for a few moments the whisper and the insult were inexorably tied to the pleasure as he finally found his release. 

It was an orgasm unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. His tired mind almost couldn’t cope with the unrelenting barrage of pleasure. If he made a noise, he wasn’t aware of it. He was lost to the world until it was over, leaving him panting and sweating on the bed. 

He could feel the evidence of what had happened cooling on his skin, small pools of his sticky cum all the way up to the base of his throat. He was too tired, for the moment, to be ashamed. Somehow he felt even more tired than before, but in a different way. Satisfaction had replaced his frustration, leaving him feeling warm and dozy.

He was drifting off again when he felt the bed shift. He didn’t open his eyes, they felt too heavy, so he was taken by surprise as he felt a warm, wet tongue on his abdomen, licking up some of his cum. He gave a soft, startled noise, surprised by just how intimate it felt. After the orgasm he’d just had, there was no hint of stirring in his loins, but he felt it deep within him nonetheless.

The man shifted, moving up him slowly, sometimes licking and sometimes kissing. He shivered gently under the ministrations, his breath catching as the man’s lips got to his ear.

“You’re a good boy, Theo.”

It shouldn’t have felt so good, it should have made him angry to hear such a thing. But absurdly, he felt a welling of pleasure at the words. He was still processing the new sensations when he felt the man’s lips on his own. He balked, but there was nowhere for him to go, no way to pull back, and he was helpless to stop it as the man’s tongue worked into his mouth. 

He tasted himself on the man’s tongue, and he wanted to say that he hated it as it probed and explored. But it was too gentle, too much like the licking and kissing along his body. The best he could do was not respond to it, just letting it happen.

When it was over, the man laid back down on the bed beside him and he knew they were finished. He would finally be allowed to sleep. And he did, lasting only a few more seconds before he slipped back into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

When Theo woke he was finally, blissfully rested. He came into awareness slowly, for a while not thinking about the comforting warmth at his side. It was only when the ache in his shoulders began to make itself known that the last of his sleep slipped from his mind. He tried to move his arms, knowing it was in vain but unable to keep himself from at least _trying_ , and sure enough, his arms were still cuffed, enough to give him a little movement but not enough to alleviate the ache. 

He froze when he felt movement at his side, only letting his breath out when he saw the man was still asleep. The man was lying beside him, one arm stretched across his bare chest, and though Theo still hated and feared the man, he would be hard pressed to say he hated _this_. And that thought brought back memories of the night before. His face burned as he remembered when he had finally caved and asked. And it had felt so good when he had finally been allowed to cum, beyond anything he’d experienced in the past.

He squirmed a little as the thought brought with it a small tingle in his lower body, and he did his best to think about something else, _anything_ else. As if what had already happened to him wasn’t bad enough, he was getting an erection just from _thinking_ about it. There were a few minutes of fervently thinking about the least arousing things he could think of before the feeling passed. He breathed a sigh of relief, then looked towards the man again. It was strange to see him asleep, almost vulnerable. It was hard to believe he was the kind of person who would do… All of this. 

But he did. He couldn’t forget that, the man was a monster.

Said monster was sleeping, however, and that gave him a reprieve, a few moments to himself. His mind quickly kicked into overdrive, trying to think of any way he could escape, but everything he thought of quickly came to nil. Even if he could somehow get his hands free of the cuffs, he knew the man would wake up the moment he tried to move.

There was nothing he could do but wait, and as the time passed he found he was both hungry and thirsty again. That mixed with the ache in his arms made his ‘reprieve’ significantly less relaxing than it should have been. Eventually, he found himself almost wanting the man to wake up.

That desire solidified as time passed and he found himself once again needing to pee. But it seemed as if the man never planned to wake back up. He was alive, obviously, but he’d been asleep for hours now, surely, and it felt like it had been at least an hour since Theo had woken. 

It hardly seemed fair, that after everything the man had done to him, given what he was probably going to do to him later, that he should be sleeping better than him. For a moment he was tempted to speak or move, to do something that would wake up the man purely out of spite. But he was too scared of what would happen as a result. He’d always been timid, never the kind to start any sort of fight, and it was all too easy for this man to have already knocked the resistance out of him.

So he kept waiting, hoping that he couldn’t possibly be asleep for long enough for a repeat of what had happened the last time.

He passed the time by looking around the room. It was small, almost a shack, but it was comfortable enough, and almost disturbingly clean. Nothing was out of place, even the small kitchenette was spotless. There was no decoration that he could see, everything seemed to be there for the sake of functionality, and he could only imagine that it was utterly perfect for what the man was doing to him.

Outside he was sure it was just woods for miles around, without a single other person. He could hear plenty of wildlife, and he might have enjoyed the birdsong if there weren’t a heavy weight of dread and resignation in his heart. He hadn’t heard a car in far too long. He was a city boy, and the sense of isolation in this situation was unbearable rather than relaxing. 

It must have been at least two hours (it was probably closer to one) when the man finally stirred. Despite it being what he wanted, he felt a sudden burst of adrenaline as the man’s eyes opened, looking straight at him. He held his breath for a moment, expecting something bad, but the man only smiled at him.

He watched quietly as the man got up, relieved when the man didn’t move to touch him. But his concern was raised again when he saw him heading for the door.

“W-wait.”

The man paused, turning a surprised and curious eye towards him. His face was too impassive to know whether or not he was annoyed or curious or just didn’t care. It was hard to speak, but he didn’t want to wet himself again.

“I… I need to go.” He flinched as he heard the words come out of his mouth, fearing the man would take it the wrong way. “I m-mean I need to…” He hesitated, he didn’t want to say it, but he knew he had to. “I need to pee…”

The man responded with a far too knowing smile, and Theo knew what must be going through his mind. He flushed again, averting his eyes as the man changed his course, moving to the small closet. A clinking sound got his attention, and he looked over in time to see him pulling out…

A collar. It had a leash attached, and he knew the man intended to put it on him. He opened his mouth to complain, a knee-jerk reaction to the sight, but the man beat him to it.

“What, did you think I’d let you out without a little insurance? Would you rather I just put some plastic under the sheets?”

Theo balked at the thought, not thinking for a moment that he wouldn’t go through with it. He looked away again, biting his lip as the man approached.

He flinched as the man lifted his chin, squirming as the collar was placed securely around his neck. It fit snugly, and it was obviously made from quality materials. The fur lining was almost luxurious. He fought with himself not to struggle as the man took his time fastening it, and felt another weight settle in him when he heard the distinctive click of a lock. He wouldn’t be getting this off any time soon, he was sure. 

Once it was on, the man began undoing his other restraints, and Theo unconsciously drew his arms into himself as they were freed. The movement hurt, but in a strangely satisfying way, and if he’d been alone he would have been inclined to stretch them out.

He watched nervously as the man removed the restraints on his legs, disturbed by just how gentle the man was being, how many soft touches he allowed himself. He didn’t want him to be rough, either, but he wondered if this might somehow be worse. Having the man treat him like a lover, rather than a victim of his sick whim, was incredibly disconcerting, and left him feeling more vulnerable than his nudity alone.

There was a soft tug on the leash, prompting him to rise unsteadily to his feet.

“Do you have toilet paper?”

It felt like a stupid question, but the promise of seeing one need filled had raised another issue, one that he didn’t want to state if he could avoid it. The man laughed, and Theo was tugged along as he went to retrieve some.

A few moments later he was led outside, only being pulled in the beginning when his reluctance made it hard to move. His body, insistent as it was, wouldn’t let him dally for long. And once he started walking on his own, the man allowed some slack on the leash.

It didn’t take him long to realize that there wasn’t an outhouse, or anything like that. The man was expecting him to go in the woods, much like you would take a dog outside to relieve itself. The comparison was only compounded by the collar and leash.

He was led a fair distance away from the shack, back towards the river, where the man stopped beside a large tree.

“This’ll do.”

He tossed the roll of toilet paper at Theo, who caught it purely by dumb luck. He turned wide, nervous eyes to the man, meeting his dark, unyielding ones.

“Can you not watch? Please?”

The man considered this for a few moments, looking at him critically. After a few moments he shrugged, turning away, obviously deciding that Theo wasn’t a threat.

Flooded with relief, Theo quickly shuffled over to the tree, attempting to use it as a sort of shield in case the man decided to look. It didn’t take much coaxing to get going, and he let himself enjoy the simple pleasure of relieving his bladder without it going down his leg.

With that over, he knew the most difficult part was to come. Awkwardly, he squatted, hoping to hurry and not give the man any reason to turn around to see what was taking so long. This, of course, made his body stubbornly refuse, and it was a long, agonizing few moments before he got any response. He could feel his cheeks burning with shame as he went, but thankfully the man seemed to be content to study the woods around him rather than turn to look at Theo.

When he was finally finished he cleaned himself up, now trying to ignore the mess completely. Doing that had never been as shameful as it had in this moment, and he wanted to forget it, and especially not think about doing it in the future.

He quietly returned to the man’s side, and the slack in the leash seemed to alert him to his presence. The man smiled at him again - was it wrong, to think he had a nice smile, even when it seemed to be mocking him? - and began to lead him back to the shack.


	9. Chapter 9

“Sit.”

Theo hesitated, but only for a moment, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. The man towered over him, every part of him practically oozing dominance, and he quailed a little at the sight. He’d never been the target of something so strong before, and it rose conflicting sensations within him.

“Good.” The man grinned and shifted, something in his posture drawing Theo’s eyes downward to the unmistakable bulge in his crotch. His face twisted, and he leaned away, but found the leash had somehow grown shorter, stopping him from going far.

“If you keep being a good boy, Theo, I’ll let you have your hands free. But you need to make a choice.” 

He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to have to choose in whatever sick game the man had come up with now, but he couldn’t stop looking at him. Those dark eyes held him in place just as securely as the leash.

“You can either suck my cock now, on your own, or I can tie you up and do what I did yesterday. But you better make up your mind quickly, I’m fucking that pretty mouth of yours either way.”

For a long moment, Theo’s only response was to try and pull away again in vain. He didn’t want to do either. Didn’t want that vile thing anywhere near him ever again. But his arms ached, and they would hurt even more if he was put back that way. Besides, who knew how rough the man would be if he disappointed him? It was obvious what the best choice was.

But again, it would make him a part of it. He would have to take action and, in some fucked up way, agree to it. He could keep some small part of his dignity if he said no, if he endured the pain and whatever the man threw at him while he was taking him again. But he was tired, mentally and emotionally, in a way he’d never been before. Resisting took so much out of him. 

He hated himself. It had only been a few days, and here he was already giving in. He felt tears come to his eyes as he reached for the man’s pants, fumbling as they blurred his vision. The man’s hands came down to help him, undoing his fly then leaving him to do the rest. His breath hitched in a small sob, and he pulled down the man’s boxers to reveal his cock, already hard and standing to attention.

For a brief moment he thought he was going to be sick, but he forced it away, blinking back his tears as well. It was hard, to push past that final warning cry in his mind that told him to stop, to run or fight or _anything_ but this. A moment later his lips brushed the head of the man’s cock, then parted, allowing the organ entrance into his mouth.

It was different without the ring forcing apart his jaw, less painful, and more intense. He could feel every ridge and bump with his lips and tongue, every twitch and pulse of the sensitive flesh. He closed his eyes and suddenly _he_ was everything there was. His world was filled with the scent and taste and feel of the man, and the soft sounds of pleasure told him where to focus, what worked and what didn’t.

Not long after he started a hand came down to tangle loosely in his hair, stroking affectionately and encouragingly. There was a heat in his cheeks, but he couldn’t be absolutely sure, not any longer, that it was embarrassment. He didn’t know the exact moment something changed, but he knew when he opened his eyes, meeting a dark and hungry gaze, that there was something else brewing inside of him.

It scared him, but not enough to stop. He had an idea of what that hand would do if he tried, so he just tried not to think about it, focusing instead on pleasing the man before him. The sooner this was over, surely, the sooner he would be left alone, at least for a while. That was how he reasoned his desire to pleasure him as efficiently as possible, but it might not have been the truth.

The hand was beginning to guide him now, causing the cock to enter and withdraw in a slow, steady rhythm. He didn’t notice as the pace began to build gradually, too intent on sucking and licking at the right moments. He only noticed as the pace got faster and the thrusts got deeper, almost threatening to push against the back of his throat. The man really was fucking his mouth, and the thought caused a strange heat to course through his body, his lips and cheeks tingling just as much as his abdomen.

“Remember to swallow, slut.”

The words were his only warning before the man gave a final thrust, and sudden hot, salty liquid coated his tongue and the back of his throat. He jerked in surprise, but the hand kept him steady. Even if he hadn’t been told to do so, he would have been hard pressed not to swallow, his body doing its best to clear his airway by drinking the bulk it down. There was another wave of nausea, but smaller than the last, and he managed to force himself to swallow the rest.

The man withdrew slowly, still grinning, and the hand in his hair changed from a grip to a gentle caress.

“Good boy.”

Theo felt another blush rising to his cheeks at that, which only got redder when he looked down. It wasn’t a full erection, thank god, but it was still enough to show that he’d somehow become aroused by doing _that_. He squirmed, knowing full well that the man could see it as well, but when he reached for him, thankfully, he didn’t aim for his cock.

Instead he was urged to move back on the bed, and once again his feet where restrained. But the man was good on his promise, and he left his hands alone.

Self-consciously, he reached to pull the blankets over himself, staying sitting and watching as the man turned towards the kitchenette. While the man’s back was turned his hands moved up to the collar on his neck, getting a feel for it, and trying to find some way to undo it. The quick, hidden check only revealed a small padlock on the fastening, and it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to pull it off, even if he’d dared to do so.

He quickly dropped his hands, fearful that the man would be angry should he turn around and see him touching it. Instead he turned his attention to the man himself, watching as he cooked. It didn’t take long before the smell of cooking food wafted over to him, and his stomach growled audibly, his body already forgetting what had happened at the scent.


	10. Chapter 10

The wait for food was almost unbearable. He hadn’t been eating regularly since he’d been taken, and the meager food he’d been given wasn’t enough to keep up with everything that had been happening. Still, it was better with his arms free. They still hurt, almost more than before at the beginning, but it was a different kind of ache. One of recovery, perhaps.

Gingerly, he began to rub at his shoulders, finding that focusing on something else helped to distract from his body’s cries for food. The action slowly helped to relieve some of the tension there, though he still knew the only thing that would make the pain go away completely was time.  
After what felt like an age, he could hear the distinct clatter of plates, and his head snapped up eagerly to see the man serving the food. It was meat, again, and Theo briefly wondered if the man ever ate vegetables. This was, of course, a thought he kept completely to himself. He could still feel the result of the last time he’d spoken back to the man, no doubt there was quite the bruise there, though he couldn’t see it.

He struggled to keep himself from looking too excited as the plates were placed on the table, but couldn’t help but squirm when, instead of coming to let him out to eat, the man stood and eyed the food critically. 

“Yours looks a little dry, don’t you think?”

Theo shook his head quickly, but the man continued anyway, ignoring his response

“I think it needs a little _sauce_.”

The inflection in the man’s tone confused Theo for just a moment, but a suspicion came to his mind and he balked. How could the man even be _able_ to do that again, so soon?

Almost as if the man had read his mind, he laughed, shaking his head. “Not _me_ you little slut. You’ve already tasted me plenty. I think we’ll try something a little newer.”

Theo caught on a little faster this time, and he squirmed, trying to shake his head. It was obvious what the man was suggesting, that he cum onto his own food and _eat_ it. The idea filled him with nausea, but his hunger protested just as loudly. 

“No?” The man spoke with disturbing cheer in his voice. “I guess you’re not hungry,” he shrugged, turning back towards the food. “More for me, then.”

A soft whine escaped Theo’s lips, but while he was sure the man _heard_ him, he didn’t turn. Clearly he meant to eat it, and a brief flash of panic made Theo wonder if it was already too late to take it back.

“W-wait. Please! I…” His face screwed up, but the man didn’t stop, forcing him to continue. “I’ll do it, so please don’t.”

For a long moment he thought it wasn’t enough, but after a moment the man paused, turning back with a satisfied grin at his lips.

“That’s a good boy, Theo.”

Again, Theo’s cheeks burned at the praise, and he turned his face away as the man approached. The hands were just as gentle as ever as he was freed from the restraints at his ankles, a disturbing juxtaposition that he still couldn’t quite figure out how to deal with.

He took a breath before standing, having to expose himself to the man again. A quick glance told him he was staring, and he felt incredibly vulnerable as he walked up to the table.

His stomach wanted him to just reach for the food, never mind the consequences, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with it. And judging by the man’s actions before, he would be forced to just watch as it was eaten in front of him. Unless he behaved.

He hesitated for a few moments, almost able to feel the man’s hungry gaze on him like a physical presence. Eventually he closed his eyes, biting his lip and moving his hand to his cock. Slowly he began to stroke himself, trying to think of things he’d always thought about when doing this. But… There was nothing. There was almost no response, and he remained frustratingly flaccid, even when he tried to stroke a little faster.

He made a noise of frustration, which quickly changed to one of shock as he felt the man move up behind him.

“Looks like you’re having a little trouble.” The words were muttered into his ear, and he felt a strange feeling flutter in his stomach. “Since you’re being such a good boy and trying so _hard_ , I’ll give you a little help.”

Before he could protest, the man’s hand was pulling away and replacing his own. The effect was almost immediate, and he felt the shame dig deep into him as he felt himself hardening in the man’s grip. Was he already so far gone as this?

His head hung low as the man began to stroke, though he kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to see his body betraying him, it was bad enough to feel it. He couldn’t ignore the sensation of the man’s body pressed so close against his own. His cock wasn’t hard, but it was a small comfort when he could still feel it pressed against him through the fabric of his pants. 

It was pleasurable torture as the man’s expert hand pushed him closer and closer to orgasm. He couldn’t help but tense as he got closer, and as always, the man seemed to know when he was close.

He didn’t stop this time, though, instead he simply reached up with his free hand, forcibly turning Theo’s head so that he could bring their lips together. The man’s tongue forced its way into his mouth just as he came, and despite himself he moaned into the kiss, allowing the man deeper access.

The kiss lasted for as long as his orgasm, and he pulled his head away as soon as he was released, an even deeper flush on his cheeks. He regretted opening his eyes almost immediately, able to see the result of his orgasm all over his food.

And it didn’t put him off it nearly as much as he’d thought it would. The steak still looked appetizing. He could almost even pretend it wasn’t… What it was.

Something about his face was obviously amusing, because the man laughed again as he pulled away, adding to his shame. He sat meekly, unwilling to meet the man’s eye as he reached for his plate.

He hesitated for a moment over the first bite, though he could hear the man happily eating his own. He’d tried to get a piece without… That on it, but it had gotten all over, and there really wasn’t any avoiding it. Gingerly, he placed it in his mouth, trying to chew quickly so he wouldn’t have to taste it.

It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t. But… It didn’t taste horrible. He hated to admit it, but it almost tasted… Good. And with the first bite, he couldn’t ignore his stomach any longer. He all but tore into the food, chewing it down hungrily. Exactly how his captor wanted it.

But as much as he hated the thought, it did nothing to slow him down. He was too starved to ignore his hunger, and sooner than he liked it was all gone. He stared at his plate, face still red, too afraid of what he might be expected to do if he asked for more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo starts to get accustomed to his new life.

The next few days passed in relative peace. Food came regularly, and he was let outside to do his ‘business’ whenever he asked. He was even allowed the use of his hands during the day, though they were still cuffed to the bed while they slept. Of course, the man continued to touch him wherever he pleased, making use of his mouth at least once a day. He hated the fact that he was beginning to get accustomed to it, hated that he was always left partially aroused by the end of it. Sometimes the man took advantage of it, other times he didn’t, leaving him to deal with it (or often more correctly, ignore it) on his own. 

Today the man had told him to touch himself, and he was sitting in a seat nearby, _watching_. The intensity of his gaze was something that Theo couldn’t ignore. His eyes were caught by the man’s gaze, and his face burned as he discovered it was making it easier to edge himself towards completion. There was just something so intimate about the way he was being watched, and an unexpected burst of pleasure pulsed through him as he caught sight of the man’s hand moving towards his crotch, rubbing idly as he watched.

His breath came quicker as he got closer to orgasm, and still he couldn’t look away. He knew this should be harder, he shouldn’t be so _aroused_ by this, but it didn’t change the fact that he was. He felt his cock twitch as he thought about what would happen next. The man would want his own release, surely, and Theo’s mind raced to wonder how he would want it. Unconsciously, he found himself licking his lips, and he made a soft noise as his thoughts finally pushed him over the edge.

He still felt dirty, especially in the aftermath, but the edge was missing. It was hard to remind himself that this was something he didn’t want, that he should be trying to escape, that he should _hate_ this. He closed his eyes, trying to turn away from the shame, the internal conflict in which the wrong side was missing. And so he didn’t see it when the man moved. He yelped as he was pushed back onto the bed, but before he could react any further the man was _there_. He looked down just in time to see the man’s tongue come out, and once again he was lapping up the cum that had splattered his stomach.

It tickled, but there was something deeper there as well. The touch was warm and intimate, and he felt it inside him in a way that was beyond lust. He could have tried to push the man away, but he didn’t. He couldn’t even convince himself it was fear of reprisal that kept him from doing it. If he was honest, it just felt too _good_.

The man took his time, licking his way upwards until there was none of it left. Then he kept going, slowly moving his way up Theo’s chest. Theo squirmed, and he could feel the heat in his cheeks that had never fully left. Not for the first time he found himself wishing the man would be rougher, would treat him worse. Then at least he could hate it. Then at least it wouldn’t feel so good, wouldn’t be so tempting to just give himself entirely over to this man who seemed to know his body better than he did himself.

He gasped as the man pressed their bodies together, he could feel his hardness through his pants, and it pressed up against somewhere that, so far, had remained largely untouched. The man took the opportunity to press their lips together, rutting against him in a slow rhythm. A thought occurred to him, and he felt a chill. Was it finally about to happen? It seemed so unfair, that the man would make him work out his own orgasm first. But still, as much as the idea terrified him, there was a part of him that was… Excited. Curious.

The man pulled back, then leaned in to whisper in his ear, and it seemed he was on the same page. “Do you want me to fuck you, Theo?” 

Theo remained silent for a few moments, tense, trying to block out the feeling of the man pressing against him over and over. “N..No.” It sounded false even to his own ears, but he couldn’t bear to give in so fully. Even though the words whispered against his ear had stirred lust deep in his abdomen, so quickly after already having an orgasm. 

The man pressed his lips to Theo’s neck, sucking at the skin, and by the time he pulled back it throbbed. He knew enough to know there would be a mark there, that it could last for days. “You’re a liar, Theo.” The words were filled with amusement and lust, and Theo felt his face burn even more. “You want me inside you, you want to know what it’s like.” He could feel his pulse racing, his breath coming quicker. With every shallow thrust the man made against him he could feel himself getting hard. It was about to happen, he could almost _feel_ it in the air, and he didn’t have enough left in him to fight it.

“But I want you begging.”

The man stopped moving, though their bodies were still pressed in close. Theo gave a confused, quiet whimper, then a sudden welling of disappointment as he understood. “I’m not going to fuck you until you ask me to, Theo.” Once again, the man was putting it on him, making it his _choice_. He wouldn’t get it unless he asked, but how could he ask for that? He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want this. But at the same time he did. His body wanted that touch desperately. There was a silent promise in the way the man had moved against him, the promise that there would be pleasure beyond what he could imagine if he’d just _let go_.

But he couldn’t. 

He almost cried out as the man pulled away from him, shifting up to straddle his chest. Almost lost what little resolve he had. He looked up at the man in a silent plea as he began to undo his pants, his intent obvious. But he didn’t take any pity on him, just looked down at him with those amused and mischievous eyes. He would have to ask. And a part of him asked why, when he already knew he would give in eventually, he didn’t just do it now. Didn’t just let the man take him, to have the pleasure that was promised. But he continued to fight against himself.

He opened himself up to the man, but there was something missing as he pushed into him. It wasn’t as satisfying as it usually was, and as much as he hated how much he usually enjoyed it, it was almost unbearable without it. He felt the sting of tears, but even they did nothing to sway the man from his course. The man took his time here as well, obviously enjoying Theo’s discomfort, his despair. “You’re so beautiful when you cry, Theo.” At that, Theo closed his eyes, unable to bear looking at him anymore, but it did nothing to ignore the feeling of the man wiping away some of his tears with his thumb.

Eventually the man finished in him, and Theo swallowed almost out of reflex, used to the taste and the warmth and the texture as it slid down his throat. But even though he was still hard, he knew it wasn’t from that. He felt the man move to lay down beside him, and he was almost tempted to squirm away, to pull away from him like a jilted lover. But to do that would be to show just how badly the man’s teasing was working on him, and he still clung to the final shreds of his dignity.

He was surprised when he felt a hand on his thigh, and he realized this wasn’t over just yet. Things never seemed to be that easy any more. The hand ran idly across his leg, sometimes edging closer to his cock, making him squirm with something close to frustration. He heard the man laugh, but didn’t turn to look, keeping his gaze firmly away from him.

“Maybe you deserve a little taste, for being such a _good boy_.” The words were purred right into his ear, and his breath caught. How could those words feel so good and feel so demeaning at the same time? He felt the man move off the bed, but resisted the urge to go and look at what he was doing. It was harder to resist when the man crawled back onto the bed, in between his legs. He offered no real resistance as the man pushed his legs apart, leaving him open and vulnerable. If he hadn’t just cum, he might have thought the man was planning to fuck him anyway.

His curiosity finally won out when he heard something being uncapped, and he looked down to see the man pouring out a clear liquid onto one hand. He caught the man’s wolfish grin and flushed, unconsciously trying to pull his legs closed again. It was in vain, however, as the man just pushed him open again, gentle but firm at the same time.

He gasped as the hand found his entrance, and he felt a slick wetness between his cheeks. The feeling was so foreign he wasn’t sure what to do with it, but he didn’t have time to think on it before something was sliding into him. This was even stranger, and to begin with wasn’t even that pleasurable, his body so used to it being an exit that the idea of it used as an entrance something he couldn’t even process for a few moments. His hands clenched in the sheets, and for a moment he was about to ask him to stop, _beg_ him to stop if he had to. 

But then he pushed in deeper, found something inside him that _sang_ and all the words that had been on the tip of his tongue were gone. Instead he just groaned, his back arching for a moment before falling back to the bed. “ _What_ -” but he was cut off before he could say any more, the man’s finger beginning to move inside him. He began to feel the pleasure in the rest of it as well, and soon he was lost to the sensation. Was this what it would feel like to be fucked? Would it be better? There would certainly be _more_.

It didn’t take long for him to cum again, not with that finger brushing up against that spot inside him with each thrust. He came down from the high panting, found his fists still wound tightly in the sheets, and realized with shame that he’d cum from the man’s finger alone. He’d not even needed any stimulation from his cock, and though there was less of his seed spread across his stomach, the orgasm had certainly been just as strong, maybe stronger.

He whimpered softly as the man withdrew his finger, and squirmed as he was left with that strange slickness in him. It felt invasive, a reminder of what had just happened, but it wasn’t enough to distract from how good it had felt.


	12. Chapter 12

Tension rose over the course of the next few days, and Theo could tell that he was already on the edge of breaking. It wasn’t as bad as when the man had edged him, he was allowed to cum, but it was lacking in satisfaction. All he could think about was what the man _wasn’t_ doing to him, what he could have if he stopped being stubborn long enough to ask. It just wasn’t fair. He hadn’t asked for any of this, he could have been at home, never exposed to all of this suffering (and pleasure). His life had been more boring, for sure, but it was a safe, comfortable boredom. He’d had a _life_ then. 

Now all he had was the persistent curiosity of what it would feel like to have the man fuck him, and to his shame he found the man didn’t even need to provoke it anymore. Just watching him go about his business, cooking food, cleaning the cabin. It made him think about it, made him _want_ and it wasn’t fair. He’d always thought of himself as straight, never even questioned it, now he was barely holding back from begging to be fucked. Why couldn’t the man just _do_ it? It was cruel to make Theo be the one in control of that one thing. To make it his decision when (not if, they both knew he was far beyond ‘if’) it happened. 

The tension had ruined his appetite, but the man still coaxed him to eat, using his pleasure as a tool to convince him, using threats when that didn’t work. But even then he ate little, and quickly withdrew into himself whenever the man wasn’t actively demanding his attention. And sometimes he cried, overwhelmed and stressed beyond what he could cope with. Everything in this situation was wrong, what was happening to him, how he was reacting. He couldn’t even bring himself to hate the man who’d done it anymore. He was too quick to praise, too easy with his smile, and the way he held him at night, comforting him and protecting him against the world. As if the world was what he needed protection from.

His sleeping wasn’t much better, not that it had ever truly settled in the first place. After the first few nights where all he had done was sleep dreamlessly, his mind was plagued with images of his captor, soft words, pleasure. Sometimes it would change, just as quickly as the man could, and it would be pain and fear. He wasn’t sure which ones were worse. Either way he tended to wake up hard, a fact that his captor picked up on and used to his advantage, just like everything else.

This morning was no different. He’d barely woken, but the man was on him anyway. His warm hand wrapped around his cock, stroking slowly and intimately, lips on his neck, kissing and licking at him. It was hard to clear the last of the cobwebs from his mind, impossible to keep himself from responding with soft sighs and groans. His sounds turned into a whine of disappointment when the man pulled away, both his hand and his lips, and he looked up at him with a mixture of _want_ and anxiety. There was an obvious spark of mischief in the man’s eyes, and that always meant something bad (but good, oh so good).

He was left on the bed for a few moments with no explanation, no further comment, and Theo bit his lip to keep himself from asking him to come back. His hands twitched with the effort of not finishing what had been started, and he wasn’t sure if it was his stubborn denial of his own pleasure or if he was simply concerned he might get told off for doing it. He wasn’t left for long, however, and his heart raced as he saw what the man was bringing back with him. It was the same bottle of lube he’d used the other day, and for a moment he wondered if the man was going to end this _waiting_. But all too quickly, the bottle was handed to him, and the man spoke with a grin. 

“Finger yourself, slut.”

Theo felt an equal mix of frustration and excitement. It wasn’t what he wanted (no, he didn’t want the other thing either, he _didn’t_ ), but if it felt anything like when the man had done it to him… Awkwardly, he uncapped the bottle, pouring some of it out onto his fingers. It was cool and slick. Then he paused, not entirely sure how best to go about what he was about to do. It was an awkward place to reach. Eventually he settled on laying on his side, facing the man, unable to help but watch his face as he began to push a finger into himself.

He could feel the blush on his cheeks rising, but he was pulled away from his embarrassment by the intense expression on his captor’s face. The man was focused on him, and only him, and despite himself it gave him a thrill to know it. His blush deepened as the man shuffled closer, and he was encouraged to lean in and wrap his lips around the man’s cock. His mind was still stuck on where _else_ it could have been inside him, but it at least wasn’t as deeply unsatisfying as the other time. 

He squirmed a little as he began to bob his head, matching his movement with the finger inside him. It still felt so strange, and he couldn’t seem to hit that sweet spot inside of himself, but it was at least enjoyable. He didn’t let himself linger too long on that thought, just focused on his tasks, and the soft noises the man made as he pleasured him.

“Put another one in.”

Theo hesitated, but only for a moment, squirming to push a second of his slicked fingers into himself. He paused for a moment as he felt a slight hint of pain, but kept himself going, just a little slower. The pain soon faded, replaced by the feeling of himself stretching out to fit the invading digits. It was a strangely _full_ feeling, though he knew it would be even more intense if it was…. He squirmed again, shutting his eyes and trying to shut out the thought, though it was near impossible. 

“You could have it if you just _asked_ , Theo.” 

His cheeks burned, of _course_ the man knew exactly what he’d been thinking. No doubt it was written all over his face, the way he squirmed as he tried to pleasure himself. And it was almost tempting enough to make him do it. He could already tell he wasn’t going to make himself cum like this, he just couldn’t reach to hit that spot, and his other arm was being used to help prop him in place. He couldn’t touch himself, and he could feel himself approaching the threshold with no way to push himself over. 

It was frustrating, reminding him too much of the time he’d been kept on the edge. It wasn’t long before he found himself pulling back from the man’s cock, uttering out a single word.

“Please…” It wasn’t until he’d said it that he realized how it would sound, especially right after what the man had just said. “I… I mean…” He squirmed, looking up at the man, face still burning. “C-Could you t-touch me?” God, was he really asking for this? He’d forgotten in his stubbornness about the _other_ thing that he shouldn’t be asking for any of this. He should be trying to resist still, surely. It can’t have even been a fortnight and he was already acting just like all the names the man called him. A whore, a slut, someone who _wanted_ this and it was impossible to lie to himself and say he didn’t.

He didn’t realize that he’d stopped, didn’t realize that he was close to tears. But then a hand came to his cheek, stroking him gently, even as the other reached down to take his cock. 

“Don’t stop now, Theo, you’re being such a good boy…”

Theo gave a soft whine, staying conflicted for a moment longer, but that hand knew too well what it was doing. And it was even better when he began moving his own hands again, pushing him quickly towards that point of no return once more. He pushed the thoughts from his mind, finding comfort in the mindless place of pleasure, and returned his mouth to the man’s cock, sucking eagerly. 

It didn’t take much more for them to find their end, coming to it almost simultaneously. Theo swallowed again, habit by now, and gingerly pulled his fingers free of himself. He pulled away, all the thoughts that had made him pause coming back even stronger now there was no distraction. The man’s hand was still at his cheek, which just made it worse. He wanted to push into it, to surrender himself and stop feeling so bad, but at the same time that was _why_ he did.

He rolled himself over, turning away, burying his face in the crook of his arm. He could still feel the wetness between his legs, covering his fingers, that stretched but warm feeling of his lips. The man’s taste on his tongue. He began to cry again, hating himself, hating all of this. He almost wished he could just give in to it, end the conflict and the pain he was causing himself. More than that he wished he could just leave, pretend none of this had ever happened, go back to his life.

He flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder, warm and gentle, and gave a soft sob.

“Shhh, Theo, I know this is confusing.”

He _knew_? How could he know what this felt like? Theo felt a sudden, unexpected flash of anger and he turned, opening his mouth to speak, to curse, to scream maybe. He was met by the man’s lips, claimed by them, and for a moment he was on the verge of pushing him away. But where would it get him, really? It might just get him hurt again. He slumped, tears still falling, but his fight already gone. He just continued to lay there as the man pulled back from him, his breath shaking with emotions he didn’t know how to express.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

In his position, with the collar around his neck, Theo couldn’t help but think about the comparison of a pet dog. He almost laughed, though it would have been a bitter sound. He certainly was the man’s ‘pet,’ whether he liked it or not. But the idea of being outside for a while, to stretch his legs, even if he was naked, was appealing. It wasn’t like anyone would see him anyway.

He was surprised when the man moved to find him some clothes, it was the first time he’d been offered anything to wear since this whole thing had started. He was allowed out of the ankle cuffs and to put the clothes on by himself, the man seeming to know he needed (and more stunningly was willing to give) some distance. He was even offered some cheap shoes, which he was glad for. The ground outside was full of twigs and other hazards for soft feet. 

Of course, the leash came with it, locking into place on his collar, held in the man’s firm grip. But he quickly forgot about it as he was allowed outside. It was a relief to be in open air after everything, and even better to have some distance away from that cabin. He knew they would be going back soon, but he would let himself have this, at least. It had been a long time, far before all of this, since he’d properly been out in nature. The sound of the birds and other small animals going about their lives, the wind in the trees. 

And for a while it was quiet, uneventful. When it happened it happened so quickly that he almost couldn’t keep up with what was happening. It was a path, a short hill down one side. Obviously trekked enough that the man holding his leash must have been familiar with it. But Theo heard a scuffling behind him, then a curse as the man lost his balance. Perhaps a rock had moved under his feet as he stepped. Whatever the cause, he went down, and for a heart stopping moment Theo thought he was going to follow. But the fabric end of the leash, the piece the man was holding, snapped after a short tug, and somehow he managed to keep himself from falling.

He spun to look, eyes wide, and he saw the man tumbling down the hill. It wasn’t too steep nor was it far, but he’d obviously hurt himself. He wasn’t getting up, though he was watching Theo, and there was a sudden tension that almost made him feel ill. He couldn’t be sure that he could get away, but the adrenaline screaming in his veins demanded he at least try. Another part of him was telling him to follow, to go down and make sure he was alright. The tension only got worse as seconds ticked by, but as the man began to shift he knew he would have to make up his mind.

He had a choice, and he genuinely had no idea which he would pick.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo makes the wrong choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time of writing this I wasn't sure which way to go, I went with this one. I wrote the other way, though, so that is getting added as a 'dream' in the next chapter.

Another heartbeat, and suddenly he was filled with adrenaline. This was his _chance_ , what he’d been waiting for since he’d got into this mess. He turned, ignoring the soft stab of pain that came with looking away from him, telling himself it wasn’t there. 

And then he ran.

He heard the man call out his name, felt the threatening sting of tears as the disappointment and anger in his voice stabbed deep through his heart. But he couldn’t stop, he _had_ to escape. Had to ignore the tearing in his own chest and get away. He would find someone, call the police. They would protect him and he would be able to get some of his life back, surely. It would never be the same after this, he wasn’t foolish enough to think it could be, but it would be _his_ life.

He kept running until his lungs were on fire, until his legs simply wouldn’t push him any further and he stopped, leaning against a tree, gasping in air. He couldn’t hear the man behind him, couldn’t hear anything other than his ragged breathing and his pulse beating wildly in his ears. He looked around and saw nothing, no one, but he didn’t let himself relax. He was too scared of just how in control the man had been up until this point, it was impossible to think he’d lost him so quickly, so easily.

But as moments passed and he began to recover, there was still nothing. He was alone, with the sounds of nature slowly replacing the noises he’d been making. He allowed himself a brief moment of hope - doing his best to ignore anything _else_ \- before starting to move again. He had no idea where he was, but surely if he kept walking he would find _something_. So he decided on a direction, making sure he kept moving away from the house, away from his captor, and began to walk.

Hours passed.

At first he was jumpy, terrified that every sound was an indicator that the man was finally coming for him, but time passed and he began to relax a little more. The biggest thing he’d seen so far was a deer, that had started bounding away before he’d even known it was there. It wasn’t long before his thoughts turned to other problems. They hadn’t eaten before the walk, and it didn’t take his stomach long to start reminding him of that fact. He was thirsty as well, and he was sure his blind panicked sprint hadn’t done much to help that.

Some horrible, weak part of himself began to whisper. To go back, to beg for forgiveness, to just give in to what the man wanted in return for the security, the food, the water. The pleasure. But he pushed it away. Surely he would find someone if he just kept walking, the forest couldn’t be _that_ big. His ignorance, having lived in a dense city all of his life, kept him from properly understanding just how foolish his situation was.

It became harder and harder to ignore that part of his mind as time went on. After a few hours his head was beginning to pound, his legs were aching, it was the most exercise that he’d gotten in the past few weeks and he hadn’t been all that fit to begin with. And the hunger was slowly but surely turning into a deeper ache, mixed with a mind spinning nausea. He became less and less aware of his surroundings as time went on, focused on ignoring his body’s needs, the thoughts in his mind telling him to just turn back.

He didn’t even fully notice when it was getting darker until he stumbled, tripping over a root he couldn’t see and going tumbling to the ground. Luckily for him, he didn’t injure himself any more than a few bruises, but it made him think of how the man had fell, the way he’d looked at him while he’d stood there, unable to decide. Theo tried to push the thought away, pulling himself up into a sitting position and trying to get his bearings. The forest didn’t look any different from how it had looked hours ago. It was just trees, as far as he could see. And as he looked around he realized he couldn’t even see which way he’d come, only able to figure it out because he’d fallen straight forward.

The first hints of a new fear began to creep into his mind. He was lost, and a whole day of walking hadn’t changed that. For all he knew he could be walking even further away from people, certainly away from the only one he’d ever seen around here.

He could die out here. Lost and alone, tired, hungry and thirsty. Maybe he _should_ turn back, not to go back to _him_ but to try and find the road or track or whatever the man had used to get here. God, he’d been so stupid. He stood and turned, but as he looked around he realized he would quickly become lost if he tried to walk in this light. Besides, everything hurt, and he desperately wanted to rest. He would wait until morning then try to go back. Try to figure a way out of this.

He dug an arrow into the ground with his foot, making sure he would know which way to go when he woke, then tried to find somewhere to curl up and try to sleep. Eventually he found a patch of ground covered in leaves, cleared it of random sticks and stones and lay down. It would not be a good night, he knew, but he had to try and get _some_ rest.

It took a long time, his head pounding, stomach growling and the quickly uncomfortable sleeping arrangements keeping him from slipping into a proper, deep rest, but eventually he fell asleep.

When he woke, it was still night, the moon illuminating some of his surroundings. He wasn’t sure what had woken him until he looked around, and a sudden deep stab of fear simply paralyzed him where he lay. It was the silhouette of a man (and oh, he knew _exactly_ who it was the moment he saw him), a man holding a gun. That gun was pointed straight at him, the metal gleaming menacingly in the dim light.

“You’ve been very _bad_ , Theo.”

It was ridiculous that those words should _hurt_ in this situation. But they did, they stung even as a new wave of adrenaline surged over him. He wanted to move, to run away or to at least cower back from it, but he was too afraid to even flinch. Not for the first time he felt his bladder let go without permission, but he didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about it now.

“I should just kill you, right now.” 

There was a coldness in that voice he’d not heard in a while, and he was suddenly sure it was going to happen, that this was the end of it. Tears welled, then spilled freely. He finally found he could move, and he shook his head, curling up as if it could make him less of a target.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, still unable to take his eyes of the barrel of the gun. “I’m sorry I just-”

“You just what?” The man cut him off harshly, making him flinch, hurting him again with the tone of his voice. “You just thought you could run away? You are _mine_ , you little bitch. You belong to me, and I think it’s about time I showed you that.”

The gun lowered, but somehow Theo didn’t feel any safer as the man advanced on him. He flinched as the gun was tossed, too far away that he could even hope to get to it even if he could think about _using_ it. He tried to scramble back, but it was a weak effort, his body still hurt from the long walk, from the lack of food and water and sleep. 

And then the man was reaching for his pants, undoing them even as he walked closer. Theo’s eyes opened wide as he realized what was going to happen, and he wanted to scream.

“No, _please_.” Not like this, **not like this**. “I’ll be good, I promise, I’ll be good just don-” He was cut off as the man crouched over him, delivering a back-handed slap that made his head spin. He felt hands on his own pants as he tried to recover, pulling them open and then yanking them down. He struggled as he was flipped onto his front, leaving him vulnerable.

“I’ve been too nice to you, whore. It’s about time you learned your place.”

A knee kept him pinned there as the man moved above him, but he didn’t hear what he was doing, too busy giving out a mindless litany of apologies and pleas to stop. The man shifted a few moments later, pulled Theo’s pants even further down, leaving them wrapped around his ankles. He faltered as the man came in closer, pressed something against him that was definitely not a finger.

“Please… Not like this, _please_.”

For a moment the man paused, and Theo foolishly hoped that he’d gotten through to him somehow. But when the man leaned in and whispered into his ear, he knew there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, that would stop this.

“You could have had it any way you wanted, bitch. This is on you.”

And then the man was pushing into him. With everything that had happened so far, with how _gentle_ he’d been with his fingers, Theo wasn’t even remotely prepared for the pain. The man’s cock was slicked, but it didn’t go in easily, having to push him open and it felt like he was being ripped apart. He screamed and thrashed and sobbed as he was entered, but it did nothing to stop the man from pushing into him.

He was given no time to adjust, no way to cope with what was happening. The man began to thrust into him, deep and fast, and it _hurt_. It hurt more than anything he’d ever known, both physically and mentally. And he couldn’t help but internalize what the man had said, to blame himself for what was happening. He shouldn’t have run. He should have stayed, and this wouldn’t be happening. He should have just given in and let the man have him, and it would have felt so good. 

It wouldn’t be this.

His screaming fell to sobbing, and he could hear the man’s breathing in his ear, soft grunts as he thrust into him, and it only made it worse. There was none of the sounds he’d come to know as pleasure, it felt like even his captor wasn’t enjoying this. It was a punishment, and an effective one at that. 

He didn’t notice when he went back to his apologies, simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over though he knew it wouldn’t change anything. He only noticed when the man tensed, finishing inside him, and he just kept saying it. He wasn’t sure he could stop. There was a slick warmth that stayed even as the man pulled out of him, and the pain began to fade into an ache. 

“Shut up, bitch.”

That was enough to make him stop, though he continued to give out small sobs and whimpers, too hurt in too many ways to calm fully. He wished desperately that there was a way to take all of this back, but what was done was done. Nothing could change what had just happened, and Theo realized with a pang that whatever they had might never return to the way it had been before he’d run. Somehow that seemed to hurt worse than the rape.

“Get up.”

For a moment Theo didn’t respond, curling up on himself and crying, distracted by his grief and his pain, but a swift kick to his side jolted him into action. He pulled up his pants, then stood, barely able to keep steady but too afraid of what would happen if he didn’t. He could see the man going for the gun, and he felt another chill.

“If you ever run from me again, slut, I will shoot you in the back of your goddamn head, do you understand me?”

Theo nodded, giving another sob, and found himself hugging his arms against his chest. Despite himself he wanted to be held, wanted to go to the man who had just hurt him so badly and beg for comfort. But his posture told him that wasn’t going to happen. 

“Get walking,” the man said, gesturing with the gun where he wanted him to go. His legs hurt, his head hurt, and there was something _deeper_ that throbbed every time he moved his legs, but he forced himself to walk.

This would be a long night.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lovely dream.

When Theo began to move, he almost couldn’t believe what he was doing. There was a part of his mind screaming at him to run away. Now was his chance! But instead he found himself moving _towards_ the man that had done all this to him. He scrabbled awkwardly down the hill, but managed to keep himself from falling as well.

He stood a few feet away from the man for a few moments, not sure what to do, before he moved to crouch beside him.

“A… Are you ok?”

The man was staring at him, obviously as surprised by what Theo had done as he himself was, but after a moment a slow, warm smile curled his lips. It sent a warm glow through Theo’s chest, and something _else_ as well. And finally something clicked into place. He _should_ want to run, should want to get away, but he just… Didn’t.

“I’m fine.”

Theo didn’t resist as a hand came up to pull him down, using the leash as leverage. For the first time when their lips pressed together, he found himself kissing back. And that ‘other’ sensation grew, turning into something more identifiable. A kind of lust that was almost like a hunger. He suddenly couldn’t understand why he’d been so stubborn.

He made a soft noise, found himself crawling on top of the man, pressing their bodies together in a lewd and needful way. Hands came up to his hips, encouraging him, and he couldn’t help but pick up a rhythm. He could feel the man was just as hard as he was, and for a few moments they stayed like that, pressed against each other, their kiss deep and hungry.

It was the man who finally pushed him back, and the look in his eyes was enough to catch Theo’s breath, a charisma that couldn’t be denied.

“Not here. Back in the cabin.”

Theo flushed, but the embarrassment wasn’t enough to break the sudden change in his mood. He wasn’t sure anything could. He pulled away unwillingly, and got awkwardly to his feet. The man got up after him, obviously not too badly hurt by his fall, and pulled him in for another slow kiss before beginning to lead him back.

The walk was a lot less relaxed now, and seemed to take forever. It was hard not to think about what was about to happen, and though there were still whispers in his mind, trying to convince him not to go through with this, they were so quiet compared to this sudden _need_.

His heart raced as they approached the cabin, and even the man’s pace increased as he saw it. But Theo suddenly faltered at the door.

“Wait.” The man turned back to look at him, obviously concerned that he had changed his mind, but that concern changed to confusion as he saw Theo’s awkward expression.

“Can I… Can you tell me your name, before we…?”

The man considered the question for a few long moments, making Theo squirm, but eventually his lips curled upwards in a smile.

“———.”

Theo felt another happy glow, and when the man, moved to pull him along, he didn't fight it. He almost felt like he was floating, that this wasn't real, but the excitement, that _need_ helped to ground him. He made no complaint as he was led to the bed. The leash came off, and his clothes quickly followed. This nudity felt more intimate than before, without the shame and embarrassment.

He shuddered deeply as the man moved up onto the bed with him, slipped his legs open in a wordless invitation. It was all he could think about, how it would feel to have _him_ inside of him, claiming him. Another warning bell sounded in his mind at that thought, but it was even more distant now. Almost impossible to hear over everything else.

His breath caught in his throat as the man pulled off his shirt, showing off muscle and skin. Nothing he hadn't seen before, but not in this light. His arousal almost felt like burning heat, and he squirmed in place, too full of everything to hold still. His eyes were locked on the man’s hands as he began to unbutton his pants, pulling them down and freeing his cock. A surge of adrenaline flowed through him for a moment, and for just a moment the enormity of what was about to happen hit him.

He flinched back, closing his eyes as the man got closer. It was too fast, too fast, and he opened his mouth to speak-

“Shhh, it's alright, Theo.”

Theo slowly opened his eyes again, looking up at him. The man was looming over him, but he wasn't touching just yet, wasn't doing anything any further just yet. They stayed like that for a few moments, just looking at each other, until some of the tension bled out of his body. The man above him saw it, of course he did. He seemed to know everything about his body even before he did.

The man leaned down, pressing their lips together, and he let out a soft moan. He gave himself to the kiss, and he felt the rest of that sudden fear melt away. His legs parted again, and the man moved in between them, pressing their bodies together. He pushed back, lifting his hips with a needful noise, and the kiss deepened. When they finally broke apart he was panting softly, and he gave a soft whine as their hips moved apart, too. 

He looked back up at the man, watching him intently as he moved to grab something out of the drawer next to the bed. He knew what it was before he even saw it, and he felt another tingle of mixed fear and anticipation curl in his belly. But he didn't tense like he had the last time, didn't flinch.

He only hesitated for a moment longer before spreading his legs further. The man's free hand came up to stroke his face, touching his cheek lovingly and encouragingly. The warm glow helped chase away the fear, leaving him with his lust. He gasped a little as he felt the lube, surprisingly cool against his skin, but it warmed quickly. He couldn't help but hold his breath in anticipation, and then he felt it.

The pressure, then sliding and fullness. He squirmed again as the finger entered him, so much _better_ than when he'd done it, already. 

Then there was another, pushing in with gentle slowness. His squirming stilled, all he could do was try to deal with the sensations. The fingers slid in and out of him, sometimes scissoring open to stretch him even further. By the time the third entered him he was panting and making soft, needful sounds. His cock was almost painfully hard now, and he tried to reach for it, but the man's other hand stopped him.

“Not yet, Theo, just a little longer.”

Theo whined, but the reassurance was enough to still him, keeping him from trying again. Instead his mind turned to what was about to happen, what was about to be _inside_ of him.

He'd known it would have to happen, but he whined nonetheless as the fingers slipped out of him, leaving him feeling empty. His pulse raced as the man pushed back in between his legs. He tensed for a moment as he felt it, the man's cock pressing against him, but the man didn't enter him yet. Instead he just rubbed it against him, intimate and lewd, spreading the lube even further. 

“Are you ready, Theo?”

Theo almost whined again at the question, it had been so hard to answer before, but now the words slipped easily off his tongue. He wanted it too much.

“Yes.” There was a slight pause as he remembered something the man had said, that he wouldn't take him till he was _begging_. “P-Please, I want you...”

The man above him looked pleasantly surprised, and he leaned in to press their lips together again. Then he was pushing in, and kept going, filling him so deeply and so completely. And it felt better than anything he'd ever known. The pleasure, the intimacy, the way the man kissed him and held him and oh god he was _moving_ again.

Theo couldn't help but respond, his arms moved up to wrap around the man's neck, and his hips pushed up to meet each thrust as it came. How could anything feel like this? How could he have denied himself this for so long? He wasn't aware of the gasps and moans he was making, he was only aware of the pleasure. 

It started slow, but it didn't take long before the man gave in to what they both wanted. The man's hand wrapped around his cock, and his world was only this. The sounds the man were making only added to his enjoyment. He certainly couldn't deny, in this moment, that he was pleased he could satisfy the man. 

His world exploded into pleasure as he came, and he tensed, arms clinging desperately to the man who was still moving above him, his toes curling in the sheets. For a few, overwhelming moments, he continued to move in him, even after he came. It wasn't quite pleasure, wasn't pain either, but it was so _much_. 

Then the man stilled, and there was a warmth inside him. He blushed at what had happened, but even in the aftermath he couldn't regret it. He was just left with a happy, warm glow as they finally parted their kiss. The man was staring down at him with a soft, affectionate smile, and he gave a shy one of his own. There were so many emotions and feelings running through him, and there was only one thing he could say.

“I love you.”

And if only it could stay that way. But then Theo woke up.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo doesn't know what to do after the break of trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this chapter gets dark, and I don't know if people read the tags every time I update them. Be warned, this chapter includes self-harm, suicidal thoughts and an attempted suicide.

Theo dreamed vividly. He dreamed that he hadn't run. That he'd stayed, and it had been a night of joy and pleasure and reward, instead of horror and pain and punishment. He dreamed that the man had even told him his name, though he couldn't grasp what it was.

But dreams never last forever.

He was bound again, gagged as well, and there was an ache deep inside him as he stirred. He could feel bruises in other places, and his legs and feet burned from all of the walking.

But worst was turning his head to see the man, his captor, who had started to become so warm, turned away from him. He was only a foot or so away, but the distance felt as deep and wide as a ravine. It may as well have been, tied up like this. 

There was no slack in the restraints now, he couldn't even move enough to try to reach for him. Couldn't open his mouth to beg forgiveness. His vision blurred, and he turned his head away, closing his eyes. The tears wouldn't do him any good now. It was his fault. Nothing would be able to fix this.

It was all he could do to fight off the tears, knowing if his nose blocked he wouldn't be able to breathe. He didn't know if the man would help him if it happened. He wasn't even sure he felt he would deserve it.

He lay there for a long time, keeping himself as quiet as he could, until the man woke. He flinched when he heard the man move, and he hated himself for it. He hadn't been this afraid of the man since it had started. But he was terrified. Terrified he would make it worse, terrified that the man would change his mind about even keeping him.

The flinch reminded him of the ache, the horror of the punishment, and he found himself crying again. But the man just ignored him. There was nothing, not even a reprimand, and he wasn't sure what was worse. But he knew this _hurt_.

All he could do was watch, trying to blink away the tears, trying to keep himself calm, as the man went through the usual acts of the morning. But he couldn't even try to act as if nothing had changed. The man's movements were stiff, and his eyes were hard, not turning to him with warmth like they had before.

Once food was ready, nothing interesting, the man came to undo his binds. There were no words, both of them knew what would happen if he fought. He accepted it meekly and silently, not speaking even when the gag was removed. His eyes stayed low, he couldn't look into those eyes, couldn't bear to see how cold they'd gotten.

They ate in silence, and if he hadn't been so hungry he wasn't sure he could have eaten. Even with his hunger his stomach twisted against the food, his body too tense to enjoy it. 

Once he was finished he withdrew on himself, arms wrapping around himself in an attempt to find any solace in the situation. Tears came again, he wanted _him_ to touch him, to hold him. To say he was forgiven for what he'd done. To love him.

Instead the man just watched as he began to cry in earnest, face still hard and unforgiving. Neither of them moved as he cried himself out. Eventually his sobbing settled and faded, leaving him sniffling and whimpering softly.

He flinched again as the man moved, but he refused to listen to the part of him that said to run as he came closer. He wouldn't run. No matter what the man did to him, even if it _hurt_ , he wouldn't run again. He looked up, eyes red and vision still blurred as the man came closer, stopping in front of him.

“Theo.” His breath caught in his throat. He didn't know what the man was going to say, and hope and fear battled inside him. “From now on you do everything I tell you to, when I tell you to do it, understand?”

Theo nodded immediately, speaking in a soft, hitched tone. “Y-yes sir.”

“Good.” The word was spoken harshly, and he knew it wasn't a praise like it had used to be. The man moved and pulled a knife from his belt, and Theo's eyes widened in fear. But the man flipped it, holding it out toward him by the handle.

“Prove it. Cut yourself. I don't care where, just make it hurt.”

Theo's stomach dropped, but he reached out to take the knife. He had to do it. Had to prove himself. It wasn't even fear of punishment at this point, he just desperately wanted to avoid making it worse, making the man hate him anymore.

Hand shaking, he lifted the knife to his palm. He pressed it in, hesitating at the first sting of pain, but he couldn't stop there. It was sloppy, making a mess as he did it, but he drew the knife along his palm. He whimpered at the sting, but he found himself flexing his hand to make it worse. He wasn't sure he could please the man with this, but he didn't want to disappoint him, either.

The pain had brought fresh tears to his eyes, but he was too exhausted emotionally for it to take a hold. He stared at the blood, too numb to be afraid of how much of it there was. Another thought came to him, and for a moment it seemed like the answer to his problems.

The knife came up again, aimed for his wrist instead, but a hand came to grasp it, stopping him.

“Enough.”

The tone was lighter now, less harsh, but still nowhere near the warmth he wanted. Theo lifted his eyes up to look at him, distraught, and whispered.

“I'm sorry...”

The man stared at him for a few moments, before moving to take the knife away, then stood.

“Good.”

The ache in his chest only worsened with that, and his head fell again. He barely even responded when the man returned, taking his hand and cleaning away the blood. The cut was jagged and messy, and it stung quite badly when the man poured something onto it. But he bore it, only making soft whimpers of pain but never a complaint.

The man's hands were gentle as he bandaged the wound, and in that Theo found some hope. He could have been harsh, made it hurt even worse, but he didn't. It throbbed under the bandage, and he could see red soaking through, but he trusted the man's skills. 

He curled himself back up, holding his wounded hand to his chest. Part of him wanted to beg with the man, seek any form of affection. To reach out and touch him and be touched in return. The distance was making him hurt more with each passing second.

But he deserved that, didn't he? He'd ruined something, and he wondered if the man was hurting as well. Why had he been so stupid? He'd known, even then, that life would never give him what this man was offering. He couldn't have gone back to his old life even if he'd escaped. He always would have been thinking about him.

If he'd had the energy, he would have started to cry again. Instead he just moved slowly, going back to the bed, curling up on it with his eyes wide open. He was broken, completely and utterly, and he knew it. He didn't care about that anymore, didn't care about his pride. It was his pride that had hurt him this way.

The rest of the day passed torturously slowly. He was let out to do his business, alone. He could have made another break for it. Easily. But they both knew it wouldn't happen. The man was punishing him with this as well, and it worked.

The rest of the day was spent on the bed, only moving from it when it was time to eat. They didn't speak, they didn't touch. By the time dinner came around Theo didn't even _want_ to eat, but all it took was a single word from the man and he did, forcing it down into a stomach that didn't seem to want it.

It wasn't until the man came back to the bed to sleep that Theo did anything else. He didn't have permission, and he was terrified of the rejection, but he simply couldn't stand it anymore. He slowly moved over, trying to press himself in against the man.

“No.”

The word felt like the man had just pushed that knife straight into his heart, and he gave a wretched sob, pulling back in on himself. Again, he wanted to beg, but he'd told the man he would behave, do as he was told.

Slowly, he pulled back, curling up into a distraught and tight ball of sadness and pain. He couldn't bring himself to turn away, instead finding himself watching with wide, hurting eyes as the man fell asleep.

He was sure he wouldn't, sure he _couldn't_. But some time in the early hours of the morning he fell into a fitful sleep of his own.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is still quite dark, but there is hope* on the horizon. Continued content warning for suicidal ideation/self-harm.
> 
>  
> 
> *Really not sure hope is the right word for a story like this/the context, but hey.

Days passed, and the distance between them seemed only to get bigger. In some ways, he could see the anger wearing down, but it only made it worse as the man continued to keep Theo at bay. He stopped crying after a while, too worn down to do it anymore. Instead he just lay in bed, only getting up when told, only eating or drinking when told.

He didn't want to do anything else. Not if it wouldn't please the man. The man whose name he still didn't know. 

He'd taken to pressing on the wound when the pain in his chest got too much, distracting himself with a sharper and more immediate pain. Part of him was still convinced that ending it was the best thing to do. If the man wouldn't touch him anymore, wouldn't care about him anymore. What was the point?

But the man had stopped him, so obviously it wasn't what he wanted. That was all he had. The man still wanted him alive, and even if it was just because he wanted him to suffer he wanted _something_ from him. The little voice in the back of his mind that tried to say this was still wrong, that he should want to be free, was so faint now that he could barely even hear it.

He had been staring up at the ceiling for hours now, and he only looked away when he saw the man come into view. His face stayed the same, he couldn't even bring himself to hope it would be something good. 

“Come.”

All their communication seemed to be in single words now. It stung, but not as much as it had before. Everything seemed to be going numb.

Slowly, he got to his feet, wobbling there for a moment before settling himself. He followed mutely as the man led him outside. It was a nice, sunny day, he could hear birds in the trees. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He barely paid any attention to his surroundings as he was led away, but he felt a curl in his abdomen as he recognized a certain hill.

It was where the man had fell. Where he'd made his stupid, unforgivable choice.

He hesitated there for a moment, felt the sting of tears and was surprised. He'd thought he was empty.

He pushed onward, terrified that if he lingered any longer the man might think he would do it again. He wiped his eyes, then hugged himself, pressing his wounded hand hard against his side. And he kept following. He would follow until he couldn't walk any longer, if he had to.

They kept walking until they came to a clearing. He wondered if this had been where the man planned to lead him the last time, before he'd tripped and fallen. It was pretty and quiet.

He waited as the man pulled out a blanket from his bag, putting it on the ground, then sat when he was told to. He curled in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest, and he felt himself just zoning out again.

It went on for a while, silent between both of them. He was taken by surprise when the man moved closer, moving his chin so he would have to look at him.

“Do you want me to fuck you, Theo?”

For a moment the question didn't fully sink in. After the days of being ignored, he almost wondered if he was hallucinating, or dreaming. Could this really be an end to it?

“Y- _yes_.” His voice broke as he spoke, he had only spoken when he'd known the man wanted an answer, and that hadn't been often. Tears began to fall again, but now it was a mixture of hope and disbelief.

Beneath it, there was the memory of how he'd been raped. The horror of it. The pain. But even if the man was as rough now he felt it would be worth it. He just wanted to be _touched_ , to feel like he mattered and was more than just a thorn in this man's side.

“Take off your clothes.”

It was an effort not to just rip them off of his body, especially with his hands shaking, making it difficult to get them off at all. But he did it, dumping his clothes to the side. He shivered in the cold, a mix of the exposure and anticipation. He felt vulnerable like this, in more ways than just his nudity. 

He was terribly aware that there still wasn't that warmth in the man's eyes as he looked at him, and part of him was terrified this would just be a tease. That the man wanted to humiliate him with his own eagerness and leave him like this.

He would cry again, if that was the case, he knew. It had given him enough hope that it had pushed away some of the numbness that had protected him from feeling.

But the moment passed, and the man beckoned him in closer, into his lap. He would face anything the man put him through for this. He could feel everywhere their bodies touched, even though the man was still clothed.

He was led to straddle the man's lap, pressed in close to him. But when he tried to close the gap between them for a kiss he was pushed away, gently.

“Not yet.”

It stung, but not as much as the first time he had been rebuffed. There was hope in that statement, not _yet_. Maybe not even soon, but eventually. The man didn't stop him from burying his head in the crook of his shoulder, so he rested himself there for the moment, drinking in everything the man would let him have.

The man's arms were moving, and he tried, he tried _so hard_ not to flinch when he felt fingers touch there. The memory of pain was too strong for his body, however, and the twitch made the fingers pause.

“ _Please_.” He whimpered, scared his body's betrayal might be taken the wrong way, that the man would turn from him in frustration or disgust. “I _want_ this. I want _you_.”

There was another heart-stopping moment, but soon the man's fingers continued, coating him with lube before one pressed into him.

It hurt, he couldn't deny it. His body hadn't fully recovered from what had happened to him. But he wouldn't let it stop him. Even if he got no physical pleasure from this he wouldn't stop. He gritted his teeth against the pain and bore it silently.

It was only when the finger curled against that spot inside him that he made a noise, a soft whimper, and he tensed even further, clinging to the man.

“Does it hurt, Theo?”

He felt a spike of anxiety at the question, but knew he had to answer with the truth.

“...Yes.”

The man began to push another finger in, settling it deep before he spoke again, rubbing against that spot.

“Does it feel good?”

“ _Yes_.”

The man's other hand came up to his thigh, rubbing slowly along it, and the small, casual act of affection almost made him cry. He squirmed a little, his breath coming in more unevenly now.

Another finger, and it felt like it was too soon. The pain grew worse, and he couldn't help another whimper. It didn't stop the man this time, and soon they were thrusting in and out of him. He squirmed more, anxious and needy. He was still hard, even though it hurt, it almost seemed to give a new edge to his need.

The man pulled his fingers from his entrance, and for a moment he was afraid he'd done something wrong. A moment later, though, he heard the man unzipping his pants, rustling as he pulled himself free.

“Let me see your face, Theo.”

Theo pulled away from his position, missing the closeness and intimacy, but quickly getting lost in the man's gaze. It was intense, harder than he wanted but... It woke something in him, and even if he had been thinking of disobeying at this point he simply didn't think he _could_. He was truly and utterly at this man's mercy. What he wanted was what Theo would do.

His expression became a mix of pain and joy as the man pushed into him. It hurt, and he couldn't stop himself from crying out from the pain, but the man was _inside_ him now and this time it wasn't a punishment, this time it was something _good_. It was almost too much.

The man's eyes were boring into him, and his strong hands were at his hips, giving him something to focus on, something to anchor him in reality.

“Move.”

His hips almost seemed to move on their own, aided by the help of the man's hands, and he began to shift. It was awkward and painful, but he was powerless to stop even if he'd wanted to. There was a sort of rapturous joy in it, losing himself in the sensation. There was nothing but _him_ , the numbness of the last few days, the horror of what had caused it, they were all fading. 

He knew he was making noises, but they were outside of his ability to control. He wasn't even sure he was the one in control of his own body anymore, surely it was this man with his commanding eyes and strong hands, urging him even faster.

He gave a long, high whine as the man pushed him past his limits with ease. The pace was harsh, unforgiving, but somehow he wanted _more_. He wasn't even sure, with how much it hurt, that he was finding any pleasure, not in the usual sense. But it was amazing nonetheless, more intense than anything he'd thought he could experience.

He came, almost out of nowhere, the feeling sweeping over him like the shock of an explosion. He heard the man grunt, and those hands gripped him tight enough to bruise. The man held him down, held him _still_ , and he could feel that warmth in him again.

His head span as he struggled to accept that it was over. The experience had been so all-consuming part of him had been sure it would last forever. Even before he'd managed to understand it he felt a wave of all the emotion he'd denied himself over the last few days.

He let out his breath in a sudden sob, all-but collapsing against the man.

“I-I'm so s-soorryy.”

One of the man's hands slipped up along his side, stroking him with a gentle care. He didn't speak, but Theo felt that this time perhaps his apology had made a difference, a small drop in an ocean perhaps, but _something_. 

He cried there for a while, the man's hand soothing him. Eventually he managed to speak again, a whisper so quiet it wouldn't have been audible if their surroundings had been any louder.

“ _I love you_.”

The man was silent for a few moments, and Theo couldn't bring himself to move, couldn't even breathe. Part of him expected rejection, to be asked how that could be true when he'd run only a few days ago. 

“I know.”

It wasn't like his dream, but it was an acceptance. It was a step forward. Slowly he pulled back, turning red eyes up at his captor. There was something else in the man's eyes now. Like some of the ice there had melted. Oh, how Theo longed for that mischievous affection that had once been there, but for the moment it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is easily the most popular of my stories, I thought it might be prudent to mention here that I now have a discord server running! Have an invite link - https://discord.gg/mCAPpyT


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